


Bell Dancer

by geri_chan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crossdressing, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3188384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geri_chan/pseuds/geri_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape is reluctantly willing to share Lupin with Tonks, but when Lupin threatens to leave him, Snape decides to use a magical heirloom to bind Lupin to him forever.</p><p>Written for the <a href="http://asylums.insanejournal.com/lupin_snape/94796.html">Trading Places challenge</a> on the lupin_snape comm. Originally archived on Ink Stained Fingers on 02/04/08.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Canon compliant up to HBP, if you're willing to stretch your imagination a bit. Halfway compliant with DH with a few alterations: Snape, Lupin, and Tonks all survive; Lupin and Tonks are dating but have not married, so Teddy doesn't exist. I'm using the Bashir family as characters here, but this is a stand-alone story and not part of my Always series. 
> 
> Warnings: dub-con

The Bashir family, having found themselves on the losing end of a feud between rival clans, had fled to England from the Middle East when Severus's mother was still a young girl. They knew that their best chance of rebuilding their fortune and establishing a place for themselves in their new country entailed assimilating into the British wizarding community. The British wizards did not care so much about skin color as they did purity of blood, but they lived in a small and insular society, and were wary of outsiders and foreigners.  
  
The Bashirs were merchants by trade, and since they traveled all over the world to obtain goods to sell, they already spoke several languages, including English, but now they worked on perfecting their fluency and speaking without an accent--or to be more precise, worked on speaking with a proper British accent. To fit in further, they changed their last name to "Prince," which was a deliberate reflection of their pride, because in their homeland, they had been a clan of old, pure blood and high rank, akin to the Black family in their heyday, before the family slowly died out and Grimmauld Place fell into disrepair.  
  
So young Lina Bashir became Eileen Prince, and the Prince family moved into a slightly run-down house in a Muggle section of London. It was quite a change for the Prince children, who had always lived among wizards in the past. But Hogsmeade was the sole purely wizarding village in all of Britain, and real estate there was not cheap. The Bashirs--now the Princes--had left much of their wealth behind in their former homeland, and while they had been able to take some of their gold and jewels with them, those funds would have to be carefully rationed, and most of it would go towards rebuilding their business in England.  
  
"We shall have to live frugally for awhile," the head of the Prince family said sternly. "But be patient, and in time, we shall be able to return to our accustomed way of life."  
  
The other Prince children were old enough to be sent to Hogwarts, so that left only ten-year-old Eileen at home with the adults, who were all busy running the family business. She was lonely and homesick, which led her to do something she would never otherwise have done: befriend Tobias Snape, the Muggle boy who lived next door.  
  
Tobias was enthralled by Eileen's tales of her exotic (at least to him) homeland, carefully edited to remove any references to magic, and she was just happy to have someone to talk to. She practiced her English with him, and in exchange taught him a bit of Arabic. They both loved to read, so Tobias would loan Eileen his books when he was done with them--mostly adventure, science fiction, and fantasy novels. She found some of the Muggle details in the books bewildering, but Tobias was always happy to explain them, and fortunately, he chalked up her ignorance to her having just moved from a foreign country, so it didn't arouse any suspicions.  
  
Because the adults were so busy, it was quite some time before anyone noticed that Eileen was associating with "that Muggle boy" (as her mother put it). When confronted, she calmly replied that yes, she had run into Tobias a few times out on the street, and that she had thought it best to be polite to him. After all, wouldn't their Muggle neighbors be suspicious if "the foreigners" who had moved in next door always kept to themselves and never spoke to anyone?  
  
"That is true," her father reluctantly conceded. "If the Muggles become suspicious, they might watch us more closely, and if they detect any hint of our magic, that would result in Ministry censure, which is the last thing we need at the moment. We should all make an effort to be pleasant and polite to our neighbors." He gazed at his daughter sternly and added, "But no more than that."  
  
"Yes, Father," Eileen said obediently, and the subject was dropped. She continued to meet with Tobias, but was careful to be discreet about it so that it didn't come to her parents' attention again.  
  
The following year, she entered Hogwarts ("I'm being sent off to boarding school," was how she explained it to Tobias), and had much less time to spend with her Muggle friend. But they always sought each other out when she came home for Christmas and summer vacations, and he was still her closest friend. She had made a few friends at school in the Gobstones Club, but for the most part she was ignored by her Slytherin housemates, who deemed her family too unimportant to be of any use to them.  
  
By the time Eileen finished school, her family's business was doing well enough to purchase a new home, still not in Hogsmeade, but much more luxurious than their old one, and close to their offices in Diagon Alley. The Prince family had also risen in status enough to attract the attention of a few pureblood families who wished to make alliances with them, and Eileen's parents began to evaluate suitable potential grooms for her.  
  
Which was when Eileen ran off and eloped with Tobias.  
  
Her parents were furious, not only that she had debased her bloodline, but that she had cost them a valuable marriage alliance, and they immediately disowned her. She had expected this, of course, and had already taken with her whatever personal possessions she valued: some clothes, and her wand, books, jewelry, and gobstones set.  
  
What the newlyweds didn't expect was that Tobias's family would disown him, too. Wizards might not care about skin color, but some Muggles did, and the Snapes were among them. It was one thing for Tobias to be nice to the poor little neighbor's daughter who had no siblings to play with, but quite another for him to marry an Arab girl--and her origins were evident in her dark skin, eyes, and hair, never mind that her family had changed their name to "Prince".  
  
Tobias had been planning to go to university, but now there was no money for that. Eileen was able to sell her jewelry for just enough cash to buy them a small house on Spinner's End that was little more than a shack, and Tobias took a job at the local mill.  
  
No one from their families kept in touch with them, except for one of Eileen's cousins, who had changed his name back to Ali Bashir from Alistair Prince when he came of age, and had gone into business for himself when his family objected.  
  
"I'm not ashamed of who I am or where I came from, and I see no reason to hide it," Ali said cheerfully the first time he came to visit Eileen. "And if they don't like it, too bad for them. We're both black sheep of the family now, dear cousin."  
  
"They might forgive you someday for changing your name, but they will never forgive me for marrying a Muggle," Eileen said softly.  
  
"And do you regret it, Lina?" Ali asked, just as quietly.  
  
Eileen hesitated for a moment, then replied firmly, "It is too late for regrets; what's done is done."  
  
"Then I wish you happiness in your new life," her cousin said gently, then silently wished her good luck, because he had a feeling that she'd need it. 

***

As a boy, Severus often thought sourly that the story of his parents' courtship sounded quite romantic, with star-crossed lovers defying their families in order to marry, but the reality was quite different. Eileen had not told Tobias that she was a witch until after they were wed, and it had come as an unpleasant shock to him. Poverty caused him to grow bitter and unhappy, and he often accused Eileen of bewitching him into marrying her, and he would shout that he would have been better off if he had never met her.

Severus didn't think that his mother had bewitched his father, but he wasn't quite sure what had brought them together other than loneliness and a love of books, which hardly seemed like strong enough motives to marry, let alone be estranged from one's family. Tobias was ill-tempered and homely, with pallid skin and a large hooked nose. Eileen was no beauty either, at first glance; her body was too thin and her features too sharp to ever be called pretty. But her skin was a beautiful shade of golden-brown, and although she looked awkward and gangly, she always moved with the smooth, easy grace of a dancer. Not that Severus had ever seen his parents do anything so frivolous as dancing, but sometimes his mother would sway absent-mindedly to the music of the radio when his father wasn't home, and when she taught him potion-making (again, when his father wasn't home, because Tobias hated any mention of magic), her long, thin fingers suddenly seemed graceful and elegant instead of stick-like as they chopped herbs or stirred the cauldron. Severus loved to watch her work, and he loved those rare moments alone, when she was able to teach him about magic and potions without his father's shouting ruining the mood.

Eileen always deferred to Tobias, never practicing magic in his presence, and accepting his censure with tears and apologies, much to Severus's disgust and confusion. But the one time she put her foot down and stood up to him was when the letter arrived from Hogwarts on his eleventh birthday.

"I will not send my son to be made into a...a...wizard!" Tobias shouted, spitting out that last word as if it were a profanity. To him, it probably was.

"He is already a wizard!" Eileen shouted back, with uncharacteristic defiance. "Like it or not, the magic is in his blood, and without proper training, he will not be able to control it, and he will become a danger to himself, to you, and to everyone else in this neighborhood!"

They continued shouting at each other for the next several minutes, until Severus screamed, "Please stop fighting!" and the lamp in the sitting room spontaneously exploded, sending shards of glass flying all over the room.

"Now do you see what I mean?" Eileen asked calmly, as a thin trickle of blood slowly ran down her cheek where a piece of glass had cut her. Tobias stared at them both, looking even paler than usual, then nodded and left the room without another word.

Tobias continued to berate his wife about her magic, and he still forbade both Eileen and Severus to practice or even talk about magic in front of him, but he never again tried to prevent his son from going to Hogwarts.

So Severus went to school, feeling guilty about leaving his mother alone with his father, but also thrilled and relieved to finally be in a place that he belonged, feeling like a fish that had been stranded on the shore, gasping for air, suddenly being thrown back into the water. He immersed himself in his studies, devouring his textbooks greedily, absorbing every bit of magical knowledge that he could.

But Severus didn't really belong. There were other half-bloods and Muggle-borns at Hogwarts, like Remus Lupin and Lily Evans, but there were none of the latter and very few of the former in Slytherin House. There was an older Prince cousin in Slytherin, but he very pointedly snubbed Severus and would have nothing to do with him. Lucius Malfoy took a liking to Severus for some reason--said he saw "potential" in him--but Severus could not help but be aware of the differences in rank and wealth between himself and Malfoy's crowd. They always wore fine robes and had new, expensive equipment, while Severus had to make do with secondhand robes and school supplies. He, along with a number of other Slytherins, were invited to the Malfoy mansion for a Christmas party, but Severus was painfully aware that he would never be able to invite Malfoy to Spinner's End.

So he worked very hard at school, trying to make himself indispensable to Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherin in-crowd. He excelled at all his classes, especially Potions, to the point that he was able to help the older students with their homework. And sometimes they would ask him to brew potions for them--for example, a mild tonic to make Mulciber sick enough to skip an exam he hadn't studied for, or a love potion to help Rosier woo a girl he had his eye on. He was also good at inventing and modifying hexes, and he would share these with his Slytherin allies, in exchange for their friendship and protection.

He was aware that his new friendships were alienating Lily, but that couldn't be helped; it was a matter of survival, and someday she would understand. Malfoy's mysterious patron (known to his followers as "the Dark Lord") was stirring up anti-Muggle sentiment, and in the near future, it might become dangerous for a wizard or witch to have Muggle blood. If he played his cards right, Severus would be in a position to protect both himself and Lily. He had studied history, and he knew that in spite of whatever propaganda they preached, people in power would often make exceptions for those who could be useful to them--and he and Lily had more than enough skill to be useful to the Dark Lord.

Lupin was talented enough, too--good at Defense against the Dark Arts, and he was actually pleasant company when he wasn't busy playing lackey to those stupid self-proclaimed "Marauders". And recently, whenever Lupin smiled at Severus, he found himself feeling warm and flushed in a disturbing but pleasant way; he had never felt like that before, not even when Lily had given him a quick, joking kiss beneath the mistletoe last Christmas.

So maybe he would save Lupin, too, if the Gryffindor would humble himself enough to ask for Severus's help. Or maybe he would wait until Lupin was in trouble--and one day, his idiot friends would inevitably get him into trouble that they couldn't get themselves out of--and Severus would swoop in to save the day, thereby winning Lupin's gratitude. Maybe he'd even be able to bind Lupin to him in a life debt, and the first thing he would ask from Lupin was for him to give up his association with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew. It was all for his own good, really. Someday Lupin would thank him for it.

His mother might need protection, too. Thanks to Malfoy's patronage, no one harassed Severus too much about his mixed heritage, but he was aware that his mother would be considered a blood traitor in certain circles for marrying a Muggle. If he gained money and power, then he would not only be able to protect her, but take her out of Spinner's End and give her a more comfortable life--buy her a nice little cottage in Hogsmeade, perhaps, with enough room in the yard for her to plant an herb garden for her potions. She had enough talent to have been a Potions Mistress or apothecary had she not married a Muggle. As it was, her talent was wasted brewing herbal teas for the neighborhood wives, and tonics on the sly for Severus when he got sick.

He wasn't nearly so sure that he wanted to protect his father. The only thing he could say in Tobias's favor was that he had never physically struck his wife. But nearly every day, for as long as Severus could remember, Tobias would come from work and pick a fight with Eileen that would end up with him shouting and her crying. The argument might start over something petty and mundane, like her not having dinner ready on time, but it would always end up the same: "I was tricked into marrying a witch!" What Severus could never understand was why she accepted his tirades so meekly, and would often even try to apologize.

"Why?" Snape demanded in frustration as his mother stood weeping in the kitchen after yet another fight in which Tobias had shouted at her and then stormed off to the pub to get drunk. "Why do you let him, a powerless Muggle, treat you like that when you could destroy him with a single hex?"

"Oh, Severus," Eileen sighed, brushing the tears from her eyes. "It's complicated. And it is partly my fault. I should have told Tobias that I was a witch before we got married."

"If he really loved you, then it shouldn't have mattered," Severus said stubbornly. "Don't the vows say 'for better or worse,' after all?"

"Only the young can be so certain in their convictions," his mother said, smiling at him affectionately but sadly, and reached out to caress his cheek with one hand, as if he were still a little boy. "As you get older, Severus, you'll discover that the world is made up more of shades of gray than black and white."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Severus asked crossly, disliking her implication that he was too young to understand.

"It means that both your father and I are to blame for the problems in our marriage," Eileen replied. "But I do not regret marrying Tobias, and neither should you, Severus." She smiled at him mischievously. "Because otherwise you would not have been born."

He couldn't really argue with that; he hated his life at home in Spinner's End, but he didn't hate it so much that he wished he didn't exist. He did argue that if his father hated witches so much, then Eileen should leave him and go back to the wizarding world, but she firmly refused to leave her husband and would hear no more on the subject. Whether this was due to love or simply a sense of duty, Severus wasn't sure.

Until the summer that his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had been feeling poorly for some time, but had stubbornly refused to see a doctor, saying that he hadn't the time to see one nor the money to pay one. But when he collapsed at work one day, he was rushed to the hospital, and that was when they found out how serious his condition was.

Eileen had been looking tired and gray lately, too, but Severus had chalked it up to fatigue from looking after his father, as he had grown increasingly irritable and short-tempered during his illness. However, after receiving the diagnosis, Eileen and Severus returned to Spinner's End alone, and with tears in her eyes, she said, "There is something I must show you, Severus."

"What is it, Mother?" Severus asked.

"Come," she said, taking him by the hand and leading him up to the tiny attic of the house. Tucked away in a corner, covered with dust and cobwebs, was a small wooden chest that was not only locked with a rusty padlock, but sealed with magical runes of warding. Eileen took a key from her pocket and opened the padlock, then whispered a brief singsong incantation in Arabic that caused the runes to melt away. She opened the lid, and Severus caught a glimpse of gauzy, colorful silk and golden bells.

"This is the secret magic of my mother's family, known only to the women of the clan," Eileen said. "Whenever a girl in the family reaches puberty, she is given a set of bells and taught the magic of the bell dance."

"I've never heard of such magic before," Severus said. "And I didn't know that you had brought any magical items with you when you married Dad, except for your wand."

"I never spoke of it before, because it was my secret shame," Eileen said softly. "Because your father was right, Severus. I bewitched him into marrying me."

"What?!" Severus exclaimed. "But...I thought that was only Dad being bitter. You always told me that the two of you were childhood sweethearts, or was that all a lie?"

Eileen shook her head. "No, that part was true. We were best friends as children, and we grew to love each other as teenagers. But Tobias didn't want to get married right away. He loved me, but he wanted to finish university first so that he could get a good job and support a wife and family properly. He knew that my family was trying to arrange a marriage for me, but he told me that they couldn't force me to marry against my will, that it was against the law. He said if they disowned me, that I could live with his parents until he graduated--we didn't know then that they would disapprove of our marriage.

"Tobias didn't understand that wizarding laws are different from Muggle laws, and that even wizarding laws can be flouted if one is influential enough. My parents could have used an Imperius Curse to force me to marry the groom of their choice, and if I had married into, say, the Black or the Malfoy families, no one would have investigated too closely into the matter of a reluctant bride. But of course your father, being a Muggle, knew nothing of the wizarding world, not even that it existed."

"So why didn't you explain it to him?" Severus asked. "There are Ministry prohibitions against revealing magic to Muggles, but once he married you, he would be a family member and therefore exempt from the prohibition."

Eileen smiled sadly. "I wasn't afraid of the Ministry, Severus. I was afraid that your father wouldn't want to marry me if he knew I was a witch, and his reaction after our marriage proved that I was right. But I loved him so much that I couldn't bear to lose him. So I used the bells to compel his will and force him to marry me--a crime no less heinous than using the Imperius, and now I am paying the price for that."

"I don't understand," Severus said, stunned by the revelation that his mother, who had always been so meek and deferential to his father, had indeed used Dark Magic to bewitch and ensnare her husband. "Are you saying that the spell caused Dad's illness?"

"No," Eileen replied calmly. "What I am saying is that the magic of the bells did more than just compel his will. It bound his soul and mine together, inextricably." Severus stared at her uncomprehendingly. "It means that when Tobias dies, so will I."

"No!" Severus cried out in horror. "That can't be true! There must be some way to break the spell!"

"The spell cannot be broken, save by death," Eileen said quietly. "In our case, the vows of 'till death do us part' are quite literal."

"I'll find a way to break it!" Severus insisted desperately. "Or we'll find a Healer to save Dad--surely he can't object to magic if it saves his life!" Not that Severus cared whether his father objected or not; even if he'd rather die than accept magical healing, Severus would gladly restore him to health forcibly if it would save his mother's life. He did not dare stop to think yet about how he felt about the possibility of his father dying; all his energy had to be focused on saving his mother.

"Of course I would like to save Tobias, if possible," Eileen said, still looking eerily calm and serene. "But I am not worried about myself. As I said, it is the price I must pay for compelling your father against his will...but even so, I cannot truly regret it. I treasure all the years that I spent with him. They were not always happy ones, I admit, and we often said and did things that hurt each other, but still...we were together, and that was enough for me." She smiled tenderly at her son. "I know you believed that I was trapped in an unhappy marriage, Severus. But I would have been far unhappier without him, even if I was living in luxury as the wife of a Black or a Malfoy."

"Mother," Severus whispered, still reeling from these new revelations. All these years, he had thought that his father had bullied his mother into submission, but she must have accepted his tirades out of guilt, because she had enspelled him into marrying her. And it suddenly occurred to Severus that Tobias had had some justification for his anger all along.

"I'll contact Uncle Ali," Severus said briskly, quickly shunting aside that very disconcerting and uncomfortable thought. "He can help us find a good Healer, and I'm sure he'll loan us the money to hire one." He had seen Ali only infrequently over the years, but he had always been kind to Severus, bringing him exotic gifts from his trips abroad, and on more than one occasion, he had slipped a few Galleons to Severus to provide a little spending money and some help with his school expenses--always with a sly wink when Eileen's back was turned, because she was too proud to accept charity even from her favorite cousin.

He half expected her to protest now, and was prepared to argue that she should set aside her pride for the sake of saving Tobias's life, not to mention her own, but she only nodded, almost indifferently. "Yes, please do that, Severus. We mustn't give up hope, I suppose. But that is not why I have told you about the bells and the spell that I cast on your father."

"Then why?" Severus asked hesitantly. "For absolution, like confession in a Catholic church?"

"Partly," Eileen admitted. "Though it is not exactly absolution I am seeking. But I didn't want Tobias to die with you still hating him for mistreating me. I know I cannot force you to forgive your father, though I hope you will, but I at least wanted you to understand the reason for his anger. And I wanted you to know that I have been content in my marriage, even though it might not have seemed that way to you."

Tears stung Severus's eyes, and he found it difficult to speak around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "You said 'partly,'" he mumbled in a hoarse voice. "That implies there was another reason."

"Ah, Severus, my clever Slytherin!" his mother said approvingly, and the tears nearly did spell from his eyes then; he only managed to keep them in check by pure force of will, and the fear that he might not be able to stop crying once he started.

"Yes," Eileen continued, "there was another reason." She gestured at the chest. "These bells are now yours, and I must teach you how to use them before I am gone."

"Never mind that now!" Severus snapped. "What matters now is finding a Healer to make you and Dad well! Besides, you said that the bells were women's magic."

"True, but they have occasionally been passed on to a male heir when no female was available," Eileen replied.

"You expect me to dance in those things?" Severus asked, staring doubtfully at the bells and the thin wisps of silk.

Eileen laughed, a sound that heartened Severus slightly. "You must wear the bells, of course, though you do not have to wear the silks, although they...ah...help to enhance the mood. Oh, don't look so skeptical, Severus! Once upon a time, belly dancing was traditional among men, although it is now the province of women. In fact, it is said that some of the best dancers were men because of their greater strength and agility."

"You're not having me on, are you, Mother?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"No, I am not," Eileen replied, her eyes sparkling with more merriment than Severus had seen in years. "It's true; if you do a bit of research at the library, you can confirm it for yourself. Male dancing became taboo because it was associated with homosexuality, and thus fell into disfavor." Severus's face turned bright red, and Eileen added, "It doesn't mean that a man has to be homosexual in order to be a dancer. Not that I would care if you were, of course."

Severus felt his face turning even redder. Could she have guessed about his feelings for Lupin? He tried to recall if he had ever even mentioned Lupin to her; he rarely talked much about school at home because his father didn't like hearing talk about "that place" (as he referred to Hogwarts), but when they were alone, his mother would sometimes ask him how things were at school. He might have mentioned that one of the Gryffindor boys wasn't quite as obnoxious as the others. Was that enough to have made his mother think that he was...well...what his father would have called a "poof"? Severus didn't know exactly what he felt for Lupin, but he knew that he felt drawn to the other boy in a way that he'd never been to any girl. He loved Lily, of course, but he didn't feel the slightest desire to try to get into her pants, although that dolt Potter seemed to assume he did. But it was a natural assumption; what normal boy wouldn't be attracted to such a beautiful girl? Maybe he really was a poof...

"Severus, pay attention," Eileen chided. "I am trying to teach you about the bells."

"Sorry, Mother," Severus apologized. "But really, I don't think that now is the right time for--"

"Severus," Eileen said urgently, "if I don't do this now, there might not be time in the future!"

"Mother, please don't say that!" Severus begged.

Eileen reached out to clasp her son's hands in hers. "Please, Severus, just humor me," she said gently. "What can it hurt? At worst I'll teach you a bit of magic you might never need, but no knowledge is ever wasted."

"All right," Severus said reluctantly, giving in. How could he deny what might be his mother's last wish?

She reached into the chest and pulled out four small golden bells and clipped them to her hair, two hanging on each side of her face. She shook her head slightly, causing the bells to chime softly, and Severus found his attention focusing sharply on her.

"These allow you to catch the attention of your subject, long enough for you to work the rest of your spell," Eileen said. "Next are these." She drew from the chest a belt made of gold chain, strung with more tiny bells, and put it on over her housedress; it hung low and loosely on her hips. She took one slow, graceful step to the side, swaying her hips, and Severus found himself flushing as the bells jingled, and he felt a faint stirring of heat within that no boy should feel while looking at his mother.

"Mother!" he exclaimed in a strangled cry.

"Forgive me, Severus," Eileen said, smiling apologetically. "These are the bells of seduction, to beguile a man and enflame his desires, until yours is the only face he can see."

"In hindsight, that was obvious," Severus said sourly. "But it would have been nice if you had warned me."

"I should have," Eileen admitted. "I should also tell you that it is possible to steel oneself against the effect of the bells if one is warned beforehand. The magic works best on a subject caught unawares."

Severus took a deep breath, then said, "All right, Mother. I am prepared. Please continue."

Eileen picked up a larger bell, one obviously meant to be held by the hand, not worn; there were indecipherable runes etched onto its surface. She shook it, and it rang out with a louder, deeper chime than the smaller bells. Even though he was prepared this time, Severus could still feel the magic, as if it were reverberating through his body. "This is the bell of command," Eileen continued. "You can force someone to do your bidding with this."

She reached into the chest and pulled out a second bell, identical to the first except that the runes carved into it were slightly different. "And this is the bell of binding," she said gravely. "None of these should be used lightly, but be careful with this one especially. It binds the soul of the user together with the soul of the one being enspelled."

"You used this bell to bind Dad's soul to yours," Severus whispered, and his mother nodded.

"However," she added, "they are not truly effective unless combined with the act of dancing. I will teach you the steps..." But as she began to dance, she staggered slightly, and Severus reached out to steady her.

"Mother, please," he said. "If I understand correctly, you are feeling the effects of Dad's illness. You must rest now. Besides, I must contact Uncle Ali about the Healer."

"All right, I'll rest for now," Eileen agreed reluctantly. "But we'll continue this later."

"When you're feeling better," Severus promised.

***

He hoped she would forget about it, but didn't really expect her to. And he secretly had to admit that he was intrigued by this new form of magic, although he rather doubted his ability to dance seductively.

"I would look like an idiot doing that," Severus protested when his mother first showed him the steps of the dance--a variation of the traditional belly dance.

"You're a clever boy," Eileen said firmly. "And you aren't uncoordinated, for all that you look lanky and gawky. All you need to do is memorize the steps and follow the instructions."

"No one would ever be seduced by me dancing like that, assuming that there was someone I wanted to seduce," Severus said sulkily. "More likely they'd laugh in my face."

"I am hardly a great beauty myself," Eileen said gently.

"But you're graceful when you dance," Severus protested loyally, and his mother smiled.

"And so shall you be, my dear, once you learn the dance properly," she told him. When he still looked doubtful, she added, "And the magic will do the rest. The bells and the dance will make you seem like the most enchanting creature in the world, regardless of your physical appearance."

So he learned the dance, more to please his mother than anything else, and while he never felt entirely comfortable doing it, let alone seductive, he reached the point where he could at least perform it competently, from a technical standpoint.

His search for a Healer was less successful. Ali rushed over to see them when he got Severus's message, and hired the best Healers in Britain--and even brought in a few from abroad--but none of them could help Tobias, save to ease his pain slightly. And Tobias, who had always hated magic, allowed the Healers to examine him without a single protest. Maybe he was just desperate to save his life, but Severus got the feeling that he was really more concerned about Eileen. He no longer shouted at her, but looked worried and asked if she was getting enough rest and enough to eat, even as she was fussing over him. Severus almost wondered if his father had been replaced by an impostor.

In desperation, Severus resorted to Muggle medicine. He had some of Ali's gold changed into pounds at Gringotts, and sent his father to the best doctors in London, but none of them could help him, either. All they could do was slow down the pace of the cancer a little with bouts of chemotherapy that left Tobias weak and nauseous. He endured it all without complaint, though, and at least some of the Healers' potions eased the side effects of the chemotherapy.

Ali helped with their living expenses, since Tobias was unable to work. "Thank you," Tobias stiffly told the magical relative he had snubbed for all these years. "It's not my way to accept charity, but someone must look after Eileen and Severus, and I am unable."

Tobias had always been proud and unbending, and that admission clearly cost him a great deal. Fortunately, Ali wasn't the vindictive sort, and just said kindly, "Nonsense; it isn't charity for family to look out for one another. Besides, Severus may be able to do me a good turn one day." He winked at his young cousin and patted him on the shoulder. "He's a rising star in Slytherin, so I hear. I'm expecting great things of him."

In spite of his worry, Severus smiled, flattered by the praise. Ali was an amiable man, but he was also a shrewd and successful merchant, and there was a gleam of speculation in his eyes that indicated his words were more than just empty flattery.

Tobias frowned for a moment at the mention of his son's magical education, then sighed and said resignedly, "Do well at your studies, then, son, so that you may earn a good living when you graduate."

"Yes, sir," Severus replied, wishing that it had taken something less drastic than a terminal illness to bring about this change in his father.

Severus was reluctant to return to school in the fall, but both his parents insisted that he go. Eileen wanted to make sure that he completed his education, while Tobias probably didn't want his son to see him in such a weakened state.

"Don't worry, Severus," Ali tried to reassure him. "I'll look after your parents while you're gone."

"But what if something happens while you're abroad?" Severus fretted.

"My assistants will handle my overseas business for the time being," Ali replied. "I plan to remain in England until..." His voice trailed off, but Severus knew what he had left unspoken: "until your parents are dead and no longer need my help."

Still feeling uneasy, but knowing there was little he could do to help his parents at home, Severus returned to Hogwarts, more determined than ever to insinuate himself into the ranks of the Slytherin elite. There were children from wealthy and influential families in the other Houses, of course, but the majority of them resided in Slytherin, probably because Professor Slughorn had many important connections at the Ministry, and would use them to aid his chosen proteges.

Severus was also more interested than ever in Malfoy's Dark Lord. It was said that he knew many old and powerful spells that could not be found in any book at Hogwarts, not even in the Restricted Section. Maybe he knew of a spell that could save Severus's father's life, or at least extend it long enough for Severus to create some healing potions of his own. He thought that with enough research and experimentation, he could come up with something more effective than Ali's Healers.

That school year was his worst ever. He was worried and irritable, and in no mood for the Marauders' pranks, but they just would not let up on him. The more that Lily turned down Potter's crude advances, the more Potter went after Severus, as if it were his fault. Lupin didn't take part in the hexing, but it began to irk Severus that he never stood up to his friends, either, and instead just hovered on the sidelines with a nervous, apologetic smile.

It was ironic that Potter considered Severus to be a rival for Lily's affections, because he and Lily seemed to be drifting further and further apart. She made no secret of her dislike for his Slytherin friends, even when he tried to explain about finding spells to help his father. He did not explain even to Lily about the bells and how his mother had bound her soul to his father's.

"I'm truly sorry about your father, Severus, but Dark Magic cannot save him!" Lily insisted.

"But there are stories of people using Dark Magic to prolong their lives," Severus argued.

"And in those stories, those people always pay a horrible price," Lily said, shuddering.

Severus didn't care what price he had to pay to save his parents--he admitted to himself now that he wanted to save his father as well as his mother. And besides, he thought that he was clever enough to find a way to get around that price.

But he was sure Lily wouldn't agree, so he dropped the subject, but their relationship grew increasingly strained. Her friends kept pressuring her to drop "that weird Snape boy" and his friends teased him about his "Mudblood girlfriend".

"Can't blame you for wanting to spend time with her; she's a pretty girl," Evan Rosier said with a playful leer. "Just remember, a quick tumble under the Quidditch stands is fine, but you can't let things get too serious with a Mudblood."

"I will keep that in mind, Rosier," Severus said dryly, and the other boy just laughed. The other Slytherins weren't too concerned about his relationship with Lily yet, because like Potter, they assumed that he was just trying to get into her pants. He felt guilty about not defending his best friend and letting them speak so crudely about her, but he couldn't afford to offend his Slytherin allies--at least, not until he found a cure for his father.

And then the werewolf incident occurred; Severus cursed himself later for being such a fool and falling into the Marauders' trap. But when Black had come to give him a message, supposedly from Lupin, Black had looked so sullen and resentful that his friend was associating with Snivellus that it hadn't occurred to Severus that he might be lying. The little bastard was a much better actor than Severus had realized.

But the worst part of it wasn't looking like a fool or nearly getting killed by a werewolf. It was realizing that at worst, Lupin had never wanted to be his friend and had in fact tried to murder him, or at best, even if hadn't been in on "the prank," his Gryffindor friends were more important to him than Severus's life, because he didn't break off his friendship with them after the incident, even knowing that they had used him to try to kill Severus, and that Lupin himself would probably have been imprisoned or even executed for murder if they had succeeded.

And even worse than that was Lily's betrayal. It hurt to lose the potential romance or friendship or whatever the hell Severus thought he could have had with Lupin, but it hurt even more to lose his very real friendship with Lily. He never dreamed that she would believe Potter's version of the so-called prank, where he twisted the facts around to make himself seem like a hero. And he never dreamed, despite their growing differences, that she would abandon him and sever their friendship over one insult, as hurtful as it was. He had cursed himself the moment that the word "Mudblood" left his lips, but it had been too late to take it back. But deep down, he knew that it wasn't just the insult, it was his association with his Slytherin allies. She made it clear that he had to choose between her and them, and as much as it broke his heart, he had to choose them; their patronage was his only chance of saving his parents' lives. If she couldn't understand that, he bitterly thought, then maybe she was no better than Potter, after all. The two of them deserved each other.

***

Tobias hung on much longer than anyone expected, wasting away to a shadow of his former self, till he was little more than skin and bones, and his face was perpetually lined with pain. Severus had tried a few experimental potions and spells, but they had little if any effect. Tobias's Muggle physician could do no more for him, either, and expressed amazement that he had lasted this long.

But Severus knew why: his father was stubbornly clinging to life because he knew that Eileen's life was linked to his; she looked every bit as ill and exhausted as he did. Severus no longer doubted that his father loved his mother.

But finally Tobias's strength gave out towards the end of Severus's seventh year. He was called to Slughorn's office after an emergency message from Ali arrived, and was allowed to rush home to his father's deathbed.

Eileen was already sitting next to Tobias; Severus pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed. When his father tentatively reached out with a shaky hand, Severus took hold of it, noticing how thin and fragile those bony fingers felt, as if they might snap if Severus squeezed them too hard.

"I'm afraid you'll have to look after yourself now, son," Tobias said in a hoarse, raspy whisper. "But you're a clever lad; I'm sure you'll do well wherever you choose to work, whether here or in the magical world." His lips contorted, with great effort, into what might have been a crooked smile. "I expect it will be the magical world, but that's all right. You were meant for something better than working at a mill like your old man, and Ali says you've made powerful friends at that school."

"Yes, Dad," Severus said, blinking to keep back the tears that were stinging his eyes. "I've already received job offers." He had been in contact with Lucius, and would be inducted into the ranks of the Dark Lord's followers when he left school, and had been promised a paid position as a researcher and potion-brewer.

"Good lad," Tobias said, weakly squeezing his son's hand, before turning to his wife, who was weeping as she clasped his other hand in both of hers.

"I'm sorry, Tobias," she whispered. "I was young and foolish, and I was terrified of losing you, but that's still no excuse for what I did."

"You didn't cause my illness," Tobias told her. "But as for the rest..." He smiled sadly. "Don't you know, Lina, that you never needed a spell to keep me by your side?"

"B-but you were so angry when you found out I was a witch," Eileen stammered through her tears.

"I was angry that you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth," Tobias replied. "I was angry that you thought you needed a spell to make me marry you."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Eileen sobbed, the tears streaming down her face.

"It's all right," Tobias said, his voice so faint now that Severus had to strain to hear it. "We both made mistakes, but...in the end, I'm glad we were together. I just wish that I didn't have to take you along with me now."

Eileen pressed her lips to his fingertips and said, "I am not afraid; I do not want to be parted from you, not even in death. My only regret is that Severus will be left alone while he is still so young..."

Ali had been waiting outside the doorway, not wanting to intrude, but now he called out, "Do not worry, dear cousin. I give you my word of honor that I will look after Severus as if he were my own son."

"Then I can rest in peace," Eileen said with a smile.

Tobias said nothing, but he smiled as if he too felt relieved, and his eyes fell shut. It took a moment for Severus to realize that his father had stopped breathing, but Eileen recognized it immediately, because she gasped and urgently reached across the bed to clasp her son's hand.

"Severus, I will soon follow your father," she whispered. "The bells are now yours, but do not use them lightly. Remember that power always comes with a price."

"I will remember, Mother," Severus promised.

She smiled at him and said, "I love you, Severus," and then she died, her body collapsing across her husband's, and the tears that Severus had been holding back spilled out now, and he buried his face in his hands, choked sobs being wrenched out of his throat almost against his will as Ali came over and awkwardly patted his shoulder.

***

Tobias and Eileen were laid to rest in a very small, private burial; no one attended but the priest, Ali, and Severus. Ali had notified the Prince and Snape families, but not surprisingly, none of them bothered to show up. Lily didn't come, either, but Severus had not told her about the funeral, because he thought he might burst into tears if she showed up and spoke kindly to him after having pointedly ignored him since their argument, and his pride wouldn't allow him to weep in public. And if he told her about the funeral and she didn't even bother to come...well, that would be infinitely worse. He wanted to think that a part of her still cared about him in spite of their estrangement, and he preferred not to have that illusion stripped away from him.

Eventually the Evans family must have heard about Tobias's death, because they sent Severus a flower arrangement and a sympathy card shortly after school ended for the summer, and Lily sent him a brief letter saying that she was sorry about his parents' death. Severus's eyes teared up a little when he read it, but he quickly tucked away the letter in his desk, and his tears went unshed. The chest containing his mother's bells went back into the attic, and Severus locked up the house on Spinner's End and sealed it with magical wards, for he did not intend to return there for many years, if ever.

Ali offered to take him on as an apprentice, but Severus turned him down. He was fond of his "uncle," but he had no desire to be a merchant, and he felt a little uncomfortable about depending too heavily on any one person, even someone as sincerely interested in his well-being as Ali. He no longer needed to join the Death Eaters now that his parents were dead, but he had invested so much time and effort into convincing them that he was a worthy recruit that it seemed like a shame to waste it. And besides, he was still interested in the Dark Arts, and the idea of gaining enough power to humble those arrogant bastards Potter and Black was certainly appealing.

Severus had heard a few vague but dark and fearful rumors surrounding the Dark Lord and his supporters, and he was aware that there was some danger inherent in getting involved with them. However, his parents' deaths had left him too numb to care, so he allowed Lucius to take him to a secret ceremony where he joined the ranks of the Death Eaters and had the Mark burned into his forearm.

Ali kept his promise to look after Severus, but he also needed to look after his overseas business interests, which had been neglected during Tobias's illness, and Severus assured Ali that he was of age and did not need a baby-sitter. So with a few token protests, Ali resumed his normal business trips, although the two of them corresponded regularly by mail, and he would return to England to check up on his young cousin every so often.

This was convenient for Severus, because he knew that Ali would not approve of his association with the Death Eaters, and had in fact already warned him not to get too deeply involved with Malfoy's crowd. "To make an ally of an old and wealthy family is a fine thing," Ali had said. "But this Dark Lord that your friend Lucius is so taken with is a fanatic, and fanaticism is rarely profitable. It leads to bloodshed, and sometimes even to war, and war is bad for business." Ali had smiled when he said it, but his eyes had been uncharacteristically serious.

"I understand, Uncle Ali," Severus had said gravely. "I promise that I will keep your words in mind." He had chosen his words very carefully, promising only to keep Ali's advice "in mind," and not necessarily to follow it. As a merchant who was always equally careful and precise in the wording of his business contracts, perhaps Ali should have been more suspicious, but he had not known Severus very well before Tobias fell ill, and during their limited time together, Severus had always behaved like a very studious and responsible young man. So he had no reason to doubt Severus's word.

But it was not long before Severus wished that he had heeded Ali's advice after all. He had allowed himself to believe that the Dark Lord intended to achieve his goals through political manipulation, but he really should have known better--the name "Death Eaters" should have made Voldemort's true intentions obvious, along with his obsession with the Dark Arts. But Severus had expected his new Master to work through more subtle means--using a Memory Charm or Imperius Curse on influential Ministry officials, perhaps, or at worst, an assassination or two of key opponents. But as Ali had warned, the Dark Lord's fanaticism led to indiscriminate bloodshed, and eventually outright war. Severus entertained thoughts of leaving the Death Eaters, but when Regulus Black mysteriously disappeared, he knew that leaving the Dark Lord's service would result in an immediate death sentence.

So he stayed on, growing increasingly troubled by the things he was forced to do. As a researcher, he was mercifully spared from accompanying the other Death Eaters on their murderous raids most of the time, but they still used his spells and potions to torture, poison, and kill innocent victims. And on a few occasions, he was ordered to go along on the raids, and he dared not refuse unless he wanted to become their next victim. Severus's dreams became haunted by the faces of the people he had killed, both directly and indirectly.

But still, he could not find the courage to leave the Death Eaters until the day that he realized, to his horror, that he had unwittingly given the Dark Lord information about a prophecy that caused him to condemn the Potter family to death. He begged his Master to spare Lily's life; he could not ask for more than that without calling his loyalty into question. The Dark Lord would probably accept that Severus desired a beautiful Mudblood girl to be his concubine, but he would be suspicious if Severus asked him to spare the girl's husband and son, too. Severus didn't give a damn about James Potter, though he felt bad about the innocent child, even if it was that bloody git's offspring. But Lily was far more important to him than some infant he had never even laid eyes on. She would probably hate him for becoming a Death Eater, and blame him for not saving her husband and son, but as long as she was alive, Severus could live with that hatred. Even if she had betrayed him by marrying Potter, she was still his first and dearest friend, who had been there to comfort him when he was upset by his parents' arguments, who had liked him for himself and not just for what he could do for her, unlike his friends from Slytherin.

Not entirely trusting the Dark Lord to keep his word, Severus also went to Dumbledore and turned spy, but both his masters betrayed him--neither of them were able to save Lily in the end. He hated them for that, but he knew that the ultimate blame rested with himself for telling Voldemort about the prophecy, and he hated himself most of all. Grief-stricken, he agreed to protect Lily's son as penance for his sins. And as much as he resented Dumbledore, he knew that the old man, along with the baby, were his best chance of destroying the Dark Lord if and when he rose again. He would remain Dumbledore's tool for as long as it took to avenge Lily's death.


	2. Chapter 2

It took nearly twenty years, but Severus managed to see that Lily's son grew safely to adulthood (no thanks to the reckless little brat himself), and the boy defeated Voldemort, killing him permanently this time. So Severus had fulfilled his penance and Lily had gotten her revenge.  
  
The problem was, Severus had never expected to survive past that point, and was at a loss as to what to do with himself now. It was all the Granger girl's fault; she began to have doubts about his guilt after he gave his memories to Potter, and secretly sent some of the house elves to take him to the hospital wing, and managed to convince Pomfrey that he was worth saving. She very practically pointed out that even if he really was a traitor, he might be able to give them some useful information about the Death Eaters if he survived. The bossy wench might have made a good Slytherin if she had been a little more ambitious.  
  
Actually, it turned out that Pomfrey didn't need all that much convincing--much to his surprise, since she had treated him coldly when he had taken over the school and students had started coming to the hospital wing to be treated for injuries acquired in the Carrows' classes or detentions. But although she had been angry, she had also noticed that the injuries were not as bad as they could have been, and had deduced that he might have been restraining the Carrows from inflicting worse harm on the children.  
  
He was chagrined that his cover had been compromised, but also a little comforted to know that someone had, if not completely believed in his innocence, at least given him the benefit of the doubt. But Pomfrey wasn't the one he had wanted to believe in him; although he tried to convince himself otherwise, he was disappointed that Lupin had so easily been willing to think him a murderer and traitor.  
  
His disappointment had nothing to do with his childish crush on Lupin years ago, he told himself. It was just that he had thought Lupin would be intelligent enough to question appearances, considering that his friend Black had been framed for murder years ago. And although things had always been tense and at times hostile ever since "the prank," there had also been mutual respect between them since the Order had re-formed. Well, perhaps Lupin had not been aware that Severus respected him, because he went to great lengths to hide it, but he did respect Lupin for going undercover in Greyback's pack. He knew from experience that being a spy was not easy, and having to ingratiate himself with the brute who had turned him must have made it even harder. Not many people would have had the courage to face someone who must have haunted their worst nightmares, but Lupin did, and Severus respected that.  
  
Not that he would ever in a million years admit that to Lupin, of course.  
  
And despite Severus's rudeness to him, Lupin had always made a point of thanking him for the Wolfsbane Potion and telling him that he appreciated everything that Severus was doing for the Order, at great risk to himself. Severus had always felt that Dumbledore took him for granted, and most of the other Order members either disliked him, distrusted him, or both. So he had found some solace in knowing that at least one person appreciated his efforts.  
  
So Severus was disappointed that Lupin turned out to be as stupid and narrow-minded as all the other Gryffindors. And that disappointment had nothing at all to do with Lupin's halfhearted romance with that little pink-haired twit Nymphadora Tonks.  
  
Potter used his status as the hero and savior of the wizarding world to officially clear Severus's name with the Ministry; it rather galled him to be indebted to another Potter. But to give the boy credit, he didn't see it that way, as he pointed out when he came to visit Severus while he was recovering in the hospital wing. Potter said that it was the least he could do to repay Severus for protecting him over the years, and he even apologized for doubting Severus's loyalty.  
  
"You were meant to doubt me, Potter," Severus said dryly. "Everyone was. That was the whole point of my...role as a spy, after all." Of course, what he really meant was, "That was the whole point of my killing Dumbledore," but he didn't like being reminded that he had been forced to kill the old man, even though it was more assisted suicide than murder. And it was probably best not to say such things aloud, anyway. He would rather not remind people that he was the murderer of Albus Dumbledore, especially since he had only narrowly avoided a prison sentence in Azkaban.  
  
"I know," Potter said, flushing. "But still...I feel bad for thinking of you that way when you were working for us all along."  
  
The boy's apology seemed sincere, but he obviously felt ill at ease talking to Severus. He had been told that Potter had defended him passionately to the Dark Lord during their final confrontation, but no doubt it was easier to defend a dead martyr than a living former enemy-turned-ally that he'd had with a long history of animosity with. Adding to the awkwardness was the fact that Potter had jumped to the erroneous conclusion that Severus had been in love with his mother. He had loved Lily dearly, of course, but more like a sister than a lover. Severus wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed, appalled, or amused by this mistaken notion, but he finally settled on amusement. It no doubt made Potter a little ill to think of his sainted mother and greasy Professor Snape being together in that way, even hypothetically, which cheered Severus up slightly.  
  
Silence fell over the room as the two of them ran out of things to say to each other, and after a few stilted attempts at small talk, Potter excused himself and left the hospital wing. But before he left, he said, "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you, Professor."  
  
Severus nodded and with great difficulty, forced himself to say, "Thank you, Mr. Potter." He didn't intend to take the boy up on his offer, not wanting to indebt himself further, but he supposed that he did owe Potter some thanks for keeping him out of Azkaban.  
  
Still, he was relieved when the boy left, and even more relieved when Pomfrey deemed him recovered enough to leave the hospital wing. Severus stayed at Hogwarts only long enough to return to his quarters and pack up his things. McGonagall, the newly appointed Headmistress, apologized to him and offered him back his old job as Potions Master, but Severus declined it, and he suspected that she was secretly relieved. She had considered Dumbledore to be a close friend, and no doubt it would be difficult to continue working with his killer, even knowing that Dumbledore had arranged his own death.  
  
As for Severus, he had too many bitter memories of the school to want to remain--not just the old memories of the Marauders' bullying and the near-fatal prank, or the years of resenting Dumbledore for treating him like a pawn, but the more recent memories of his colleagues' contempt and hatred when he had taken over the school in the Dark Lord's name, and of how they had attacked him the night that Potter had shown up to look for the horcruxes. It was illogical to hate them for it, perhaps, since as he had told Potter, the whole point of killing Dumbledore had been to make people think he was loyal to Voldemort, but still, he resented that the colleagues he had known for years had had so little faith in him.  
  
They obviously felt uncomfortable about it, too; most of them apologized to Severus, but had difficulty looking him in the eye, except for Slughorn, who brazenly declared that he'd known all along that Severus was working on their side, no doubt hoping to curry a little favor on the off chance that Harry Potter's vindication of Severus made him a war hero.  
  
Privately, Severus thought there was little chance of that happening. He might have been spared a prison sentence, but the public would never truly forgive the man who had murdered the great Albus Dumbledore. In any case, Severus thought that it would be easiest for all concerned, himself included, if he left Hogwarts.

***

Severus had kept his distance from Ali once the Dark Lord returned, not wanting to bring his relative to the Death Eaters' attention. So he had sent polite but terse replies to Ali's letters, and had found excuses to avoid meeting with him in person, and after awhile, Ali had stopped trying to see him, sending only infrequent letters and postcards that spoke of nothing but polite trivialities about his business dealings. Severus had never been sure whether this was because Ali had not wanted to associate with a Death Eater or had only been respecting his wishes, but either way, his cousin had remained safe, which was all that mattered. Ali was a pureblood, and had kept a low profile after the Death Eaters came into power, so there had been no reason for him to be targeted by them.

By this time, Severus was used to being treated as a pariah, so he was surprised when Ali came to see him shortly after he moved back into the house on Spinner's End.

"I am glad to see you alive and well, Severus," Ali said, smiling at him warmly. "The boy savior has vindicated you in the press, you know." He held up a copy of the Daily Prophet. "The Ministry has granted you a full pardon, thanks to Mr. Potter's testimony. He even gave an interview stating that you had been following Dumbledore's orders by going undercover as a spy, and that he could not have defeated You-Know-Who without your help."

Severus scowled at the paper. "It doesn't matter. Despite Potter's eloquent testimony, the public will never forget that I was a Death Eater and a murderer."

"It matters a great deal to me," Ali replied quietly. "It matters to me that your name has been cleared, and that you are not serving a life sentence in Azkaban like the other Death Eaters--the ones who survived, that is. I promised your mother that I would look after you, and I am afraid that I have done a very poor job of that."

"It's not your fault," Severus said wearily. "You warned me against getting involved with the Death Eaters, and I ignored you. I was young, but I was an adult when I made the choice to join them, and I am responsible for the consequences of my actions, not you." He hesitated, then asked the question that was on his mind, although he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the answer. "Did you believe, like everyone else, that I was a loyal Death Eater? I can't blame you if you did."

"I admit, I had my doubts at times," Ali replied honestly. "I never believed that you were a fanatic like they were. You were friends with that pretty Muggle-born girl, and you always spoke of what a talented witch she was, so I didn't think that you shared their beliefs about Mudblood inferiority. But anyone can be tempted by power, especially someone who has been deprived of his proper birthright." Severus flushed with shame, remembering how ashamed he used to be of living in poverty, and how he had wanted so much to be on an equal level with his fellow Slytherins.

"However," Ali continued, "you always had a good heart, Severus. I didn't think that the young man who tried so hard to save his parents, who forgave the father who had mistreated him and his mother for so many years, could be a cold-blooded killer. And I am glad to know that I was right."

Tears of relief and gratitude stung Severus's eyes, and he said hoarsely, "Thank you, Uncle Ali. I am sorry that I couldn't tell you the truth before this."

"I understand," Ali said gently. "You would have endangered both of us if you had, ah, blown your cover, so to speak. So...what will you do now, Severus? Do you intend to resume your job at Hogwarts?"

Severus shook his head. "It would be awkward working there, with everyone knowing that I killed the previous Headmaster, no matter what the reasons. I never wanted to be a teacher, anyway. I only took the job because I needed to be close to Dumbledore so that I could pass on information to him. And later, I needed to be close to Potter in order to protect him."

"Well then, my old offer still stands, you know," Ali said. "I can always use another assistant, and I think that you could do with a change of scenery."

Severus managed a small but sincere smile for the first time since...well, before Dumbledore had died. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think that I'd make much of a salesman, Uncle Ali."

"No, not a salesman," Ali laughed. "But you could help out on the buying end of the operation. I deal in a number of magical artifacts and potions, and I can always use a knowledgeable wizard who can test merchandise for hidden traps, or to see if it actually does what the seller claims it will do. And there is always a need for caravan guards skilled in defending against the Dark Arts."

Severus hesitated; he appreciated Ali's generosity, but neither of those positions really appealed to him. On the other hand, he had no other prospects, so perhaps he ought to go ahead and take the job, at least until he could figure out what else he wanted to do with his life.

Ali's eyes narrowed shrewdly as he correctly guessed what Severus was thinking, with no need for Legilimency--at least, Severus didn't sense any overt use of magic. But a good merchant, as Ali often liked to say, had to be good at reading the facial expressions and body language of his customers.

"Well, you needn't decide right away," Ali said with a smile. "In fact, you probably should take some time off to rest and think things over, after all you've been through. I have a vacation home in Egypt that you're welcome to use. You can relax, maybe study a bit of Arabic magic...I know of a good potion brewer who lives in the neighborhood; the two of you could compare notes. Or if that does not appeal, I know of a number of nice vacation spots in Europe--Paris or Venice, perhaps?"

"Thank you, Uncle Ali," Severus replied. "Let me think it over."

"Fine," Ali said, patting him on the shoulder. "Let me know when you've decided, or even if you just want to get together for lunch sometime. There's no reason for us to lose touch with each other again, now that the war is over."

"Yes, Uncle Ali."

***

The next day, Severus began packing up his belongings. Ali was right; he could certainly use a vacation, and in Egypt, he would be anonymous, just the cousin of a wealthy merchant, and not a notorious Death Eater. And if he liked it there, maybe he'd stay permanently. He wasn't as fluent as a native speaker, but he spoke enough Arabic to get by. He had enough money in his Gringotts account to invest in a small shop; since he had received free room and board at Hogwarts, he'd had few living expenses and had been able to save a tidy sum. Or maybe he could run a mail-order potions business, or sell his potions through Ali.

And he needn't settle in Egypt; he could move to Europe, or maybe to America, where at least they spoke English, more or less. Right now all he wanted was to leave behind his old life in Britain and start over someplace where no one had ever heard of the name "Severus Snape".

He stared regretfully at the bookshelves. Even if he magically shrank the books down, he still wouldn't be able to fit them all in his trunk. He would take along his spellbooks and potions texts, of course, but there were a number of novels that had belonged to his parents. They weren't worth much in either wizarding or Muggle currency, but they still had sentimental value. He decided to put them into storage; he could always send for them later when he found a permanent place to live.

After some inner debate, he decided to take his mother's bells with him, and fetched the chest from the attic and set it down on a table in the sitting room. His mother's precious heirlooms were too valuable to be left behind, and since he had nothing but time on his hands now, he would be able to examine them and study their magic at his leisure--by casting diagnostic spells and translating the runes, of course. He had no intention of using them on a living subject, even if there was someone in his life that he wanted to seduce, which there wasn't.

He smiled to himself. And maybe he would practice dancing--in private, of course, where no one could see him. As heartbreaking as it had been to watch his mother slowly waste away, he treasured the memory of those lessons. It had been the first time that they had talked openly and honestly with each other, and he had loved watching her dance, though it had also made him uncomfortable to have his mother teach him a dance of seduction. No one, not even her loving son, would ever have described Eileen as pretty, but when she had danced, she had been transformed into someone beautiful, and it wasn't just due to the magic of the bells. Her limbs had moved so gracefully that it hadn't seem to matter that they were too thin. In her regular life, Eileen had been a meek and diffident housewife, but when she danced, she had gained an air of confidence that made her sharp features seem striking instead of homely.

Tobias had been right; Eileen had never needed magic to make him love her. It was only her insecurity that had made her think so. It was tragic that she hadn't realized this until just before they died, but at least they had forgiven and reconciled with each other at the end.

Severus took out the first set of bells, the ones attached to the small hair clips, and rolled them between his fingers, listening to their soft, musical chime and feeling the tingle of magic on his skin.

Just then, a knock sounded at the door, and Severus dropped the bells, letting them fall onto the table with a discordant jangle. "Who is it?" he asked sharply, half expecting an angry mob of wizards who wanted to lynch him, no matter what the Daily Prophet printed about his name being cleared by the boy hero.

"It's me, Remus," a familiar voice called out.

Severus was so startled that he actually went over and opened the door without any protest. "What are you doing here, Lupin?" he asked.

Lupin smiled at him, looking anxious and apologetic--the same look he'd worn whenever his moronic friends had been harassing Severus back during their school days. Despite his gray hair and lined face, it gave him a boyish look that brought back memories of desire and betrayal, and Severus felt a sudden, sharp pain in his heart, as if someone had just clenched their fist around it.

"What do you want?" he asked, in a harsher voice this time.

"Please, may I come in?" Lupin asked meekly. "I need to talk to you, Severus."

Severus's first impulse was to slam the door in the werewolf's face, but instead, he found himself stepping aside to let Lupin enter the room.

"What do you want?" he repeated.

"I...I wanted to apologize, Severus," Lupin replied.

"Whatever for, Lupin?" Severus sneered.

"For not trusting you," Lupin answered quietly. "For immediately believing the worst of you. The situation looked bad, of course, but I should have remembered what happened to Sirius. I should have at least considered the possibility that things weren't what they seemed. I should have trusted Albus, who always had complete faith in you."

"Whatever people think, Albus bloody Dumbledore was not perfect," Severus snarled. "He made mistakes. He didn't stop Tom Riddle when he had the chance, when he was still a schoolboy and not yet the Dark Lord. And he let the Potters die. He let Lily die, even after he promised to save her. Although maybe that part wasn't a mistake. That manipulative, scheming old man might have let them be killed on purpose in order to fulfill the prophecy, to let the Dark Lord mark Potter junior as the chosen one. And to have the parents out of the way so that he could raise up the boy as his pawn without any interference."

"I know that Albus sometimes manipulated people in the name of what he believed was the greater good," Lupin said gently. "But I find it difficult to believe that he could be so ruthless."

"Believe it or not as you like, Lupin," Severus spat. "But he raised up Potter, your precious friend's son, to be a pig to the slaughter! He intended from the very beginning to sacrifice the boy, even as he made me swear to protect him."

"Harry told me a little about it," Lupin said, his voice still gentle and quiet. "He doesn't blame Albus. He says there was no other choice, no other way to defeat Voldemort."

"Well, you Gryffindors have always been sentimental fools," Severus grumbled.

Lupin almost smiled then. "Yes, perhaps," he agreed. "But whether or not Albus was a saint or a ruthless old man, I still should have had faith in you. Not just because I trusted Albus, but because I should have trusted what I'd seen of you from my own experience."

"What?" Severus scoffed. "Your childhood enemy? A bully of a teacher who torments his students? A Death Eater?"

"A man who faithfully protected the son of a man he hated, in order to fulfill a debt of honor," Lupin corrected. "A man who may not have been the most beloved teacher at Hogwarts, but who still worked to protect the students, even after the Death Eaters took over the school--Poppy told me that the students' injuries weren't nearly as bad as they could have been if you hadn't kept the Carrows in check. A man who made mistakes in his youth, but devoted the rest of his life to correcting them. A man who brewed the Wolfsbane Potion for a werewolf who had once nearly killed him, albeit unintentionally."

"I only brewed it because Dumbledore ordered me to," Severus muttered sullenly.

"And I was never your enemy, Severus," Lupin added, smiling sadly. "James and Sirius and Peter were, but not me. I never stood up to them when they hexed you because I was afraid of losing their friendship and becoming an outcast again. That still makes me a coward and gives you every reason to hate me, but...I never hated you or wished you ill, Severus, for whatever that's worth."

Severus had carried that grudge since their schoolboy days, almost lovingly nursing the hatred so that it only grew stronger over the years. But strangely, he found himself too tired and drained to fight with Lupin anymore.

"Oh, what does it matter now, Lupin?" he sighed wearily. "If it makes you feel better, I'll accept your apology. We both made mistakes in our youth, but don't expect me to give you some maudlin apology for mine."

"No, I don't expect that of you, Severus," Lupin chuckled. "Besides, you don't owe me any apologies. As far as I'm concerned, you've already atoned for whatever mistakes you might have made."

"It's not your place to judge me, Lupin," Severus said automatically, but without his usual rancor, because Lupin's words somehow made the burden of guilt that had been weighing on him ever since Lily's death feel a little lighter.

"No, of course not," Lupin demurred. "That wasn't my intention. I'm sorry if I worded it poorly, but I just wanted to express my appreciation for everything you've done and sacrificed for the Order."

"I didn't do it for the Order," Severus said gruffly.

"Well, whatever the reason, I thank you, Severus," Lupin said.

A moment of silence followed as they both struggled to find something else to say. Lupin had clearly accomplished what he had come here to do--offering apologies and thanks to assuage his guilt, although why he should feel guilty for thinking Severus a traitor when everyone else in the wizarding world had too was a mystery to Severus. But Lupin lingered on instead of leaving, looking as though he was trying to come up with a good excuse to stay.

As for Severus, he would normally have thrown Lupin out by now, but these weren't normal circumstances. Everyone behaved awkwardly around him, reacting with hostility or guilt or both. He hadn't had a decent conversation with anyone but Ali since the Dark Lord had been defeated--before that, actually. The Carrow siblings had not exactly been the brightest of the Death Eaters, which was why they had been assigned to baby-sit the children at Hogwarts instead of performing more crucial tasks for the Dark Lord, and the rest of the teachers had snubbed Severus when they still believed him to be a traitor.

But Lupin was treating him normally, which was a welcome change--welcome enough for him to tolerate the werewolf's presence a little longer. "Since you've invited yourself in, you might as well stay for a drink," Severus said, affecting a very put-upon demeanor. He didn't want to seem too eager to have Lupin stay, after all. "I have a half-empty bottle of elf-made wine that we can finish; it will save me from having to pack it."

"Elf-made wine would be lovely," Lupin said with a smile, then did a double take, an expression of surprise and dismay filling his face as he took in the half-empty bookshelves and the open trunk resting on the floor. "Wait a minute--pack? Are you moving, Severus?"

"How astute of you to notice, Lupin," Severus said sarcastically.

"Why?" Lupin asked--no, more like demanded. "Where are you going?"

"It's none of your business, Lupin," Severus replied, wondering why Lupin should be so upset about him moving. Did it trouble his Gryffindor conscience that he'd nearly missed his chance to apologize to Severus? "But if you must know, I was planning to stay in Egypt for a few months; my uncle has a house there."

"Your uncle?" Lupin asked, looking confused.

"Well, he's actually a cousin," Severus clarified. "But he's near the same age as my mother, so I've always called him 'Uncle Ali'."

"Ali Bashir? The one who was always pestering Arthur about lifting the ban on flying carpets? He's your uncle, er, cousin?"

"The very same," Severus confirmed. "He's always had a fixation about the carpets; I'm not sure why. I asked him once, and he said that it's an important part of our heritage."

"So, you're just going on vacation, then?" Lupin asked, sounding relieved.

"No," Snape replied, shaking his head, and Lupin began to look distressed again. "I don't know if I'll stay in Egypt permanently, but I'm not planning on returning to Britain."

"Why not?" Lupin demanded. "I know that Minerva asked you to stay on at Hogwarts, but you turned her down."

"She didn't really want me to stay," Severus said bitterly. "She was just being polite, or maybe she felt obligated out of guilt, but none of the teachers want to work with Dumbledore's murderer, and I'm sure that none of the parents will want a murderer teaching their children."

"You're not a murderer!" Lupin said vehemently. "Harry cleared your name; he wanted to make sure everyone knew that you were only following Dumbledore's orders. That's why he gave that interview to the Prophet!"

"You're not a schoolboy anymore, Lupin," Severus retorted. "Don't be so naive. It doesn't matter that the Ministry acquitted me or that Potter cleared my name. The image of me as a Death Eater and a murderer is fixed in people's minds, and nothing can change that. Even if they believe that I switched sides, they probably think that I only did it at the last minute to save my own skin."

"I know that's not true," Lupin insisted. "There are other people who believe in you, too, like Harry and Hermione and Poppy. You shouldn't run away, Severus. I know that it's difficult now, but things will get better with time. As a werewolf, I know better than anyone how it feels to be rejected by society, but I've still managed to find loyal friends to stand by me."

As well as a loyal pink-haired girlfriend, Severus thought bitterly. "I see no reason for me to stay," he said sharply. "I never enjoyed teaching those ungrateful little brats, and I have no close friends or family except for Ali, who spends a great deal of time abroad, anyway. Now that I have fulfilled my promises to Dumbledore and Lily, I see no reason to stay in a country where I am regarded as a pariah."

"Well, I..." Lupin seemed to be struggling to come up with a good argument. His eyes darted restlessly around the room, as if seeking help or inspiration, and his gaze happened to fall on the golden bells that Severus had dropped when the knock at the door had startled him. "Bells?" Lupin asked curiously, moving closer to get a better look at them. "I didn't know that you were a musician, Severus."

"I'm not," Severus said, hastily snatching up the bells before Lupin could touch them, and that motion caused them to chime softly. Lupin's head turned in their direction, and his eyes seemed to glaze over and then focus intently on Severus's face.

Severus suddenly remembered his mother's instructions: "These allow you to catch the attention of your subject, long enough for you to work the rest of your spell." It seemed that he had unintentionally enspelled Lupin, and he wondered what he should do now. He quickly put the bells back in the chest--being careful not to sound them--and closed the lid before they could do any more harm. And after a moment, Lupin shook his head slightly and blinked in confusion.

"Ah...excuse me, I lost my train of thought for a moment."

Relieved that the effect had only been temporary, Severus said, "I see that you still make a habit of daydreaming, Lupin. That's why your grades in Potions were always so bad, you know."

"I suppose so," Lupin said with a curiously amused smile. "Those bells...they're very pretty, and make a lovely sound, too. But I'm a bit curious as to why you have them if you don't play music."

"They belonged to my mother," Severus explained truthfully, then added a half-truth. "I don't play them myself, but they have sentimental value, so I didn't want to leave them behind."

"Oh, I see," Lupin said sympathetically. "But Severus, I still don't see understand why you should leave at all. If you don't want to be a teacher, there are a number of other things you could do. I'm sure that Kingsley would give you a job..."

Severus had heard that Shacklebolt had been designated the new interim Minister of Magic, but there was little love lost between himself and the Auror. "I highly doubt that, Lupin, but even if that were true, I have no desire to work for the Ministry."

"Well then, you're certainly qualified to open your own apothecary shop," Lupin persisted stubbornly. "Or you could run a mail-order business if you really don't want to have contact with people. But you shouldn't run away."

"Why should I stay?" Severus countered. "I can just as easily find work in another country. What else is there here for me?"

Lupin cocked his head to one side as he considered Severus's question, his eyes glittering strangely. It was nowhere near the full moon, but there was a feral hunger in them that made Lupin look more wolf than human. The sight of them made Severus nervous, but he only had time to take a single step backwards before Lupin lunged forward and shoved him against the wall, his mouth fastening on Severus's and devouring it hungrily. Severus tried to protest, but as soon as he parted his lips, Lupin's tongue thrust between them, entwining with his own, and his objections faded away into a muffled groan.

Twenty years' worth of suppressed lust and frustration flared to life and the two of them tore at each other's clothes in a frenzy. Buttons popped off and clattered to the floor, and cloth gave way with a ripping sound until finally Severus felt bare skin beneath his hands, hot and feverish, and he moaned as he simultaneously felt Lupin's hands on his own flesh.

Severus felt almost delirious with need and desire as they kissed and groped frantically, and he was much, much too far gone to protest when Lupin abruptly spun him around to face the wall. In fact, his knees almost buckled when Lupin growled into his ear like a wolf about to claim its mate. He ought to be disgusted by the werewolf's animal nature, but instead the sound evoked a thrill of mingled fear and lust that shot straight to his groin, and a little whimper escaped his lips that caused Lupin to growl even more possessively.

Lupin bent down to grab his wand from the discarded remains of their robes and murmured an incantation. Severus gasped, feeling a tingling sensation as his inner muscles relaxed and a cool, slippery liquid filled him; a bit of it trickled out and ran down his thigh.

Severus heard the wand hit the floor as Lupin carelessly tossed it aside and grabbed him by the hips, then pushed into him with a swift, hard thrust. Severus cried out, bracing his palms against the wall to prevent himself from being hurled face-first into it, then moaned helplessly as Lupin pounded into him at a vigorous pace, growling and snarling like a wolf in heat.

Each thrust caused an echoing throb of pleasure in his own loins, and Severus reached down to touch himself, but Lupin growled and slapped his hand away. He groaned as he felt the werewolf's fingers close around him and move in rough strokes in tandem with his thrusts.

Severus felt his desire spiraling out of control and knew he wouldn't last much longer, and Lupin probably wouldn't either, judging by the desperate edge to his growls. And as if the werewolf had read his mind, Lupin suddenly bit down hard on the back of his neck, and pain and pleasure blurred together as Severus's hips bucked, and he came in Lupin's hand. A wolf's triumphant howl filled the air, and Severus felt Lupin come inside him a heartbeat later.

Severus slowly slid down to the floor, his body trembling, his legs too wobbly to support his weight. Lupin moved with him, his arms wrapped around Severus's waist, and they just sat there together for a few minutes, both of them breathing heavily. Severus's racing pulse gradually returned to normal, and Lupin also began breathing more quietly and evenly.

A feeling of contentment and euphoria was just beginning to fall over Severus when Lupin pulled away and mumbled, "I'm sorry about that, Severus; I don't know what came over me." The expression on his face was as apologetic and sheepish as it had been as a boy whenever the Marauders had harassed Severus.

"Yes, I'm sure you can't imagine what came over you, to have had sex with a former enemy that you despise," Severus said coldly. He was beginning to wonder what had come over himself, to have let his guard down around Lupin, twenty years of repressed lust or not. He should have known that the werewolf would never change.

"No that's not what I meant!" Lupin protested, reaching out to place a hand on Severus's shoulder in a placating gesture. Severus contemplated slapping it away, but even that light touch filled him with longing, and he had to direct all his energy towards not reaching out to pull Lupin into his arms.

"I don't despise you, and I don't think of you as an enemy, not anymore," Lupin said earnestly. "As I said before, I'm ashamed that I ever did. What happened just now..." His voice dropped into a husky growl for a moment. "It was wonderful. But...well..." His voice resumed its normal diffident tone that had always driven Severus up the wall. "I'm still involved with Dora...with Tonks, you see, so I'm not free to make a commitment to anyone else right now..."

"Oh, is that all?" Severus laughed, feigning indifference to hide a sudden surge of pain and bitterness. What a fool he was, to have thought for even a second that Lupin might want something more than a quick shag. Who would want a homely former Death Eater--and a male Death Eater at that--when he could have a beautiful young woman from a good family with a respected job at the Ministry. Tonks could give Lupin what he had always craved--social acceptance and popularity. He had always wanted so badly for everyone to like him, and Molly Weasley had practically been pushing Tonks into Lupin's arms even before Severus had killed Dumbledore. He doubted that Lupin's friends, even his newfound champion Harry Potter, would be pleased if the werewolf announced that he jilting Tonks in favor of the notorious Severus Snape, and if it came down to a choice between his friends and Severus, well, Severus already knew from experience whom Lupin would choose.

"There's no need for you to be so melodramatic, Lupin," Severus drawled sarcastically. "I was hardly expecting you to propose marriage after one casual encounter, like some virgin maiden in a bad romance novel."

"No, of course not," Lupin said, flushing. "I just, well, er..." His voice trailed off uncertainly.

"Although one might wonder why you are here with me and not in the arms of the lovely Miss Tonks," Severus added, in a tone of mild curiosity, as if the answer didn't really matter to him one way or the other.

Lupin's blush deepened. "Well...you see, Tonks is a lovely girl, but my proclivities have always tended more towards men than women."

"I see," was all Severus said, but Lupin responded in a slightly defensive manner.

"It's not that I don't find Tonks desirable," the werewolf said, a little too insistently. "But..."

"But you find men more desirable," Severus finished with a little smirk, and Lupin nodded, looking rather shamefaced. "Well, it sounds like you have a rather complicated lovelife, Lupin, but it's really none of my concern."

They gathered up their clothing and got dressed in a silence punctuated only by a few murmured cleaning and mending charms. Lupin turned to leave, then paused to smile at Severus wistfully. "Today was...nice. I wish...if things weren't so complicated..." He took a deep breath and leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on Severus's lips. "I did enjoy being with you, even if no marriage proposals were involved."

Lupin was still looking at him wistfully, and Severus's breath caught in his throat as he realized that Lupin really hadn't regretted their encounter--well, perhaps his Gryffindor conscience nagged at him for cheating on his girlfriend, but he had certainly enjoyed the physical act and seemed to wish they could do it again.

Severus was under no delusions that Lupin wanted him in particular, of course. Homosexuality was generally frowned upon in the wizarding world, and Lupin probably had few opportunities to indulge in his "proclivities". This was probably the first time he had gotten laid (by a man, anyway) since...well, probably since the mutt had died. Severus felt a sharp flare of jealousy at the thought of Sirius Black; falling through the Veil had been too quick and easy a death for the bastard, but at least he was out of the way.

Still, even if Lupin only wanted a man in general rather than Severus specifically, the sight of Lupin staring at him with desire in his eyes temporarily overrode Severus's common sense, and he found himself saying, "We could do it again some time if you like."

"But Tonks..." Lupin protested, but only halfheartedly, which was a good sign. For once, Lupin's spinelessness might actually work in Severus's favor.

"As I said, I expect no marriage proposals," Severus said coolly. "Whatever goes on between you and Miss Tonks is none of my business. You and I share similar 'proclivities,' as you put it, but few opportunities to indulge in them. Therefore, I propose a purely practical arrangement--clearly, we are sexually compatible, so I see no reason why we cannot continue to satisfy each other's physical desires without imposing any sort of social or emotional commitments on each other. I shall be discreet--I think it is obvious that I can keep a secret--and what Miss Tonks does not know cannot hurt her. Should the arrangement prove unsatisfactory to either of us, we would be free to end it at any time." Severus paused to let Lupin consider his words (the werewolf looked rather stunned), and then, being careful not to sound too eager, he asked, "So what do you think, Lupin?"

"Does that mean you're not moving to Egypt after all?" Lupin asked, with an odd expression on his face...it somehow looked hopeful and disappointed at the same time.

Severus thought quickly; he was staying because of Lupin, of course, but he couldn't let the werewolf know that. "I've decided that, for once, you were right, Lupin," he replied. "I will not run away like a dog..." He smiled ironically. "...or a wolf, with its tail between its legs. If the wizarding world wishes to be rid of me, why should I give them the satisfaction?"

"Good for you, Severus!" Lupin said emphatically, sounding sincerely pleased. "I'm glad that you'll be staying."

"And about my proposal...?" Severus prompted, trying not to show his impatience as Lupin hesitated for a long moment.

Finally, Lupin smiled and said, "It sounds most...agreeable," and Severus breathed a silent sigh of relief. "You're right; we're certainly compatible, and we would both benefit from such an arrangement. And...not to get all emotional on you, but I would prefer to have someone I know and respect as a bed partner, rather than some stranger that I picked up in a bar."

"That is acceptable, Lupin, as long as you don't get too maudlin," Severus said with dry humor, and Lupin laughed.

"I'll try not to, Severus." He held out his hand, and Severus shook it, and their bargain was sealed.

***

They continued to meet about two or three times a week, and the sex was just as incredible as the first time--if anything, it was even better, conducted in the comfort of a bed, although there was a certain pleasure in the urgency of being taken up against the wall on the nights when Lupin couldn't wait till they got upstairs, or even in the cramped confines of the shower, when they sometimes got carried away while washing off after their first round of lovemaking. Severus began to think that maybe there was some truth to the rumors that werewolves were insatiable.

And gradually, their arrangement began to develop beyond sex, into a comfortable sort of friendship that he hadn't had with anyone since his younger days with Lily. After they were finally sated from their bedroom activities, Lupin would not leave right away, but would linger to chat with Severus over a cup of tea or brandy. The werewolf was intelligent and a good conversationalist, as well as a surprisingly adept and challenging opponent at chess. Severus was a little surprised about the latter, since most Gryffindors lacked the subtlety to be good at games of strategy. He jokingly told Lupin that perhaps there was a bit of Slytherin in him, and the werewolf laughed, unoffended, and said, "I'll take that as a compliment, Severus."

Severus told himself that he was happy with their arrangement, that he didn't expect anything more from Lupin than sex and casual friendship, but he found himself growing increasingly discontent as time went by. He was becoming greedy, he realized to his dismay. It was no longer enough to see Lupin a couple of times a week; in-between trysts, he found himself counting the days until he could see the werewolf again. And lately, whenever Lupin left Spinner's End to go back home to Tonks, Severus's stomach would twist itself into knots of jealousy at the thought of Remus being together with that pink-haired bitch.

Wait a minute...when had he started thinking of Lupin as "Remus"? Lupin always called him "Severus," presumably out of politeness, but Severus had always called Lupin by his last name, or even just "werewolf". He needed to be careful to maintain a proper distance between them, he reminded himself. It would be illogical and extremely foolish to fall in love with Remus--with Lupin--because the werewolf was not about to leave his socially acceptable pink-haired girlfriend for a former Death Eater. If he couldn't control his feelings for the wolf, then he would have to break things off before they got out of hand.

And breaking things off was simply unacceptable; Severus tried to tell himself that it was because he wasn't about to give up a convenient bed partner after years of enforced celibacy when he hadn't dared to sleep with anyone because he hadn't been able to let down his guard with any of his comrades on either side of the war. No, he would just have to control his feelings; that was all there was to it. It shouldn't be a problem; he was a skilled Occlumens, and if he could hide his true allegiance from the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters for nearly two decades, then he could certainly manage to keep himself from being overcome by a ridiculous, childish infatuation. That was probably all it was...the lingering effects of his teenage crush on Lupin, magnified by what, admittedly, was amazingly good sex. But there was no point in getting carried away by a bit of nostalgia.

At least, that was what he kept telling himself.

Then, one day about a month after he and Lupin had made their bargain, Severus was invited to lunch by Ali. He still avoided being seen in public in the wizarding world, if possible, so they met at a Muggle restaurant in London that Ali was fond of. It was a little shabby, but the food was tasty and inexpensive, and the staff didn't care about the eccentricities of their customers, although Severus took the precaution of temporarily Transfiguring his robes into a Muggle suit (black, of course).

"You're looking well, Severus," Ali said pleasantly. "Muggle clothing suits you surprisingly well."

"Thank you, Uncle Ali," Severus replied politely. "I'm sorry to have changed my mind at the last minute about going to Egypt."

"Not at all," Ali said, blithely waving off his apology. "The house isn't going anywhere, and it will still be available if you should choose to take a holiday in the future. But I was a little surprised; you had seemed to have made up your mind about leaving England."

"I decided not to give everyone the satisfaction of being rid of me," Severus said lightly.

"Good for you, Severus!" Ali said, unknowingly echoing Lupin's words. "That's the spirit; you have nothing to be ashamed of--in fact, you're a hero, as far as I'm concerned! But have you made any plans for the future? Not that you haven't earned the right to an extended vacation, mind you."

"I've started a mail-order potion business under a pseudonym," Severus replied. "It doesn't pay as much as my Hogwarts salary, but it's enough to put food on the table, and at least I don't have to deal with those ill-mannered brats anymore." And at least it helped fill the time between his assignations with Lupin, but he left that reason unsaid.

"Good, good," Ali said cheerfully. "I'm sure that your business will do very well, and you'll be building up a larger clientele in no time. But I'm just wondering, is there another reason that you're staying?" He grinned and winked at Severus. "Have you met someone special, perhaps?"

Severus nearly choked on his food. He and Lupin had been careful to be discreet, and they'd invented an excuse about the two of them doing some research on the Wolfsbane Potion, but so far it hadn't proved necessary...or so Severus had thought. Had Ali heard some sort of gossip? Had someone noticed Lupin coming and going at Spinner's End? But who? The house was located in a strictly Muggle neighborhood, far from any wizarding communities, and the area had been abandoned even by the Muggles once the mill had closed down. Severus had remained there because the solitude suited him; he'd grown a little paranoid after being a spy for so many years, and preferred not to have any neighbors living nearby.

"That's...that's ridiculous!" Severus blustered, once he'd managed to force the food down his throat. "I've no time for, nor any interest in romantic relationships at the moment--not that many people would care to take a former Death Eater for a lover, in any case."

"All right, Severus; take it easy," Ali said soothingly. "I didn't mean to offend or upset you. It's just that you look much happier these days, so I thought you might have found someone who had put a little spring in your step."

"I wasn't aware that my steps were 'springy,'" Severus said dryly. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Uncle, but my good spirits are due solely to the fact that I am no longer a notorious criminal and need not worry about being killed by either the Dark Lord or the Order."

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm just glad that you're happy, Severus," Ali chuckled, and much to Severus's relief, he changed the subject to his latest business trip and there was no more discussion about special someones or springy steps. But he would have to be careful to adjust his demeanor in the future, and be sure to scowl and act as sour and bad-tempered as he always had. Not that it should be a problem, since he rarely went out in public and had little contact with anyone but Lupin and Ali. He had his potions supplies owled directly to his house, and he picked up most of his groceries at a Muggle supermarket where no one knew him, buying in bulk so that he didn't have to venture out too often. A discreet charm lightened his packages so that they were easy to carry, and once he was out of sight of any Muggles, he would Apparate directly home. He also kept a small garden out in the back yard for fresh vegetables and herbs.

So everything was going smoothly, and Severus was mostly happy, and managed to ignore the little stirrings of discontent regarding Lupin.

That is, until the day that Lupin announced he was getting married.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're...what?" Severus asked, fighting to keep his voice steady. His hand was frozen halfway in the act of raising his tea cup to his lips; they had just finished making love and showering, and Lupin had chosen to drop this bombshell as they gathered in the sitting room to enjoy some tea and chocolate biscuits which, incidentally, Severus had bought specifically for Lupin although he pretended not to know that they were Lupin's favorite.  
  
"Tonks and I are engaged," Lupin said, with a familiar look of sheepish apology; Severus had to suppress the urge to slap it right off his face. "It just sort of...happened."  
  
"A marriage proposal is not usually something that happens by sheer coincidence," Severus pointed out sarcastically.  
  
"I know that," Lupin sighed. "You see, Tonks has been wanting to get married for some time, but I kept putting her off by telling her that it wasn't the right time to get married with a war going on; we really weren't able to spend much time together anyway, with both of us off on assignments for the Order. But today at lunch, Tonks and Molly sprung it on me that there was no reason not to get married now that the war was over. They caught me by surprise, and I couldn't come up with a good objection, particularly with Harry and all the other Weasleys gathered around clapping me on the back and congratulating me before I could even voice any agreement or disagreement to the proposal. So...well...it seems that I'm engaged."  
  
Severus felt as if someone had just driven a knife through his heart, but his pride would not allow him to let Lupin see how deeply he'd been affected. Years of practiced deception allowed him to put a smile on his face and say heartily, "Congratulations, Lupin! I'm sure that you'll be very happy."   
  
He set down his tea cup and extended his hand, and Lupin shook it, looking rather dazed. "So...um...you don't mind, Severus?" the werewolf asked hesitantly.  
  
"Of course not," Severus said briskly. "I've told you all along that your relationship with Miss Tonks is of no concern to me."  
  
"Yes, that's right; you made that clear from the beginning," Lupin said, his shoulders slumping slightly. He looked tired and a little ill, but that was not really surprising, since the full moon was only a few days away.  
  
"It's what you've always wanted, isn't it?" Severus asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. "Friends and a family to belong to." Although the thought of Lupin having children with multicolored hair made him want to vomit. "An extended family, even, if you count Tonks's parents and the Weasleys, who seem to have unofficially adopted her. And Shacklebolt got you a job at the Ministry, so now you'll be able to support a wife and family." Twisting the knife in his own wound, Severus smiled and said, "I'm happy for you, Lupin, really."  
  
"Thank you, Severus," Lupin replied, smiling wanly. "I'm glad that we've become friends as well as...whatever we are. Friends with benefits, I think the young people call it. In the past I'd have expected you to hex me rather than wish me well."  
  
Severus was strongly tempted to hex him now, or maybe Tonks; he wasn't sure which. Maybe he ought to hex them both. But all he said was, "You're tolerable company when not under the influence of other Gryffindors, Lupin."  
  
Lupin winced slightly, perhaps thinking back to the Shrieking Shack "prank," or the incident by the lake. But he smiled and said, "That's high praise coming from you, Severus."  
  
"Indeed," Severus said, and an awkward silence fell over the room that neither of them seemed to know how to break. Finally, Severus said, "I suppose we'll have to adjust our schedule temporarily. I imagine that you'll be busy with the wedding preparations, and eventually..." The words stuck in his throat, even worse than the food he had nearly choked on at the restaurant, but he managed to force them out. "...your honeymoon."  
  
"Actually..." Lupin said softly, looking down and avoiding Severus's eyes. "I don't think that I can continue our...arrangement...any longer."  
  
"But...I told you...I don't care about Tonks," Severus said, trying not to panic. Sharing Lupin with Tonks was painful, and the thought of him marrying her was heartbreaking, but the idea of losing Lupin completely--it was inconceivable.  
  
"I know," Lupin replied, still staring at the floor. "But I just can't do this anymore, not once I'm married. I suppose you'd say it's my Gryffindor conscience. I felt guilty enough cheating on Tonks when we were only dating, but...now that I'm getting married...it just wouldn't be right. I'm sorry, Severus." He finally looked up and gave Severus a wistful look. "I'll miss our evenings together...not just the sex, but the company as well."  
  
Severus was torn between panic and despair--after all his careful plotting, he was going to lose Lupin, even after consenting to share him with another lover? He couldn't deny it to himself any longer; it wasn't just lust or even infatuation. He loved Lupin, and he couldn't imagine not having the werewolf in his life, even if it was for only a couple of sordid trysts per week. For the first time, he truly began to understand the desperation his mother must have felt when she had used the bells to bind his father's soul to hers...  
  
The bells! A wave of relief washed over Severus as he remembered his mother's bells. Of course; he could use them to bind Lupin to himself! His mother had explained to him how the magic worked, and it was quite powerful: once their souls were bound together, neither of them would ever be able to love or even lust after anyone else. Even being too far a distance away from each other for too long would cause intense physical suffering. Lupin would literally be unable to leave him. Lupin's fiancee and friends would no doubt want to kill him when they found out, but fortunately, they would not be able to, since killing Severus would also result in Lupin's death. Of course, Severus ran the same risk that his mother had, that he would die if his lover suffered an untimely death, but that didn't matter, because he wouldn't want to live without Lupin, anyway.  
  
His mother's dying words resurfaced briefly in his mind: "The bells are now yours, but do not use them lightly. Remember that power always comes with a price." But he quickly pushed them aside; he would pay any price not to lose Lupin. Even if Lupin hated him for stealing him away from Tonks and his chance at a normal life, Severus would be content as long as they were together.  
  
So heartened by his new plan, Severus managed a true smile this time, and said, "I understand, Lupin. But still, I would not like to end things so abruptly. Let us have one last night together, to commemorate the end of your bachelorhood and say goodbye properly."   
  
Lupin hesitated, and for a moment, Severus was afraid that he would refuse. But then he nodded and said slowly, "Yes...you're right, Severus. We should say goodbye properly. But we'll have to do it soon, unless you want to wait till after the full moon."  
  
"Why don't we meet here tomorrow night, then?" Severus suggested. The sooner, the better, before Tonks decided to rush things and marry Lupin ahead of schedule. "We should do it right away; you'll only get busier as the wedding gets closer."  
  
Lupin frowned slightly; maybe he was worried about coming up with a good excuse to get away from Tonks. But then he nodded and said, "All right, I'll be here tomorrow night. Same time?"  
  
Severus nodded, and Lupin left, and then Severus hurried up to the attic to fetch down his mother's bells.  


***

Severus had prepared his bedroom for a night of seduction: he had temporarily transfigured the bed into a pile of plush, comfortable pillows, and covered the faded, peeling wallpaper with silk draperies. The room was lit with a number of candles that appeared to be scattered randomly across the room, but had actually been carefully and artfully arranged by Severus for maximum romantic effect. Strictly speaking, none of this was necessary for the binding spell to work, but Severus figured that providing the proper atmosphere couldn't hurt, and he needed all the help he could get. A little added insurance had been set up in the form of a brazier in the corner, which was burning some sweet-smelling and mildly narcotic incense that wouldn't hurt Lupin but would make him more susceptible to suggestion. Severus had already ingested an antidote, of course; he needed his mind clear in order to work the complex spell.

Severus also had a bottle of elf-made wine ready; a bit of alcohol would help to lower Lupin's defenses, along with the incense. He had also laid out a couple of ornate gold dishes, one filled with dates soaked in honey, and the other containing dates stuffed with almonds and rolled in powdered sugar. The werewolf was fond of sweets, and hand-feeding them to Lupin would be a sensual and seductive act that would help enhance the dance.

At least, Severus hoped so. He was certainly aroused by the thought of Lupin licking honey and sugar off his fingers, but he was half-afraid that the werewolf would burst out laughing at the sight of him clad in silks and bells.

Severus firmly told himself that he had nothing to worry about. He might look ridiculous in this dancing-girl's costume, but the magic of the bells was strong enough to overcome any lack of physical grace or beauty on his part. He had felt the pull of the bells' seductive enchantment while watching his own mother dance, for Merlin's sake, and she had not even been actively invoking the spell. Lupin would not be suspecting anything, so he would have no resistance to the bells, and moreover, he and Severus were already lovers, which should make it easier for the enchantment to ensnare him than it would a total stranger.

A knock sounded at the door, and Severus cast a quick silencing charm to keep the bells quiet until he was ready, and threw on a hooded cloak to cover his costume. He unlocked the door with a flick of his wand and called out, "Come in, Lupin; I'm up here in the bedroom."

Lupin's jaw dropped when he entered the room, and Severus stiffened, anticipating laughter and ridicule. But Lupin smiled with what seemed like genuine delight, and he said, "This is incredible, Severus! I feel like I've stepped into a story from a Thousand and One Nights! You went to all this trouble just for me?"

"This is our last night together, after all," Severus said smoothly, closing the door behind Lupin and furtively locking it with an unspoken charm. "I wanted to do something special. Why don't you have a seat, and I'll pour you some wine?"

"Thank you," Lupin said, reclining on the pillows. He breathed in deeply, then smiled dreamily. "Mmm...that smells very nice; sort of exotic and mysterious..."

"It's something Ali brought back from one of his trips," Severus replied truthfully, handing Lupin a glass of wine.

"Thank you," Lupin said, taking a sip and giving Severus a come-hither look that nearly caused him to forget his careful planning. "Why don't you join me?" Lupin asked, then reached out to playfully tug at Severus's cloak. "And why are you all covered up? I thought we were supposed to be celebrating..."

His voice trailed off as Severus deftly stepped aside, the cloak falling away as one corner of it remained in Lupin's grasp, revealing that he was clad in several layers of gauzy, diaphanous silk.

"Wh...what?" Lupin gasped, staring at him wide-eyed.

Severus took a deep breath, then released the charm silencing the bells and set his wand aside. He tossed his head, causing the bells in his hair to chime, and Lupin's eyes riveted on him, as if Severus were the only thing existing in this world.

Encouraged, Severus said, "This is part of the celebration, Lupin. I am going to dance for you." He spun around, swaying his hips, causing the bells around his waist to jingle, sweetly and seductively, and he saw Lupin's face flush out of the corner of his eye. "Would you like that?"

Lupin's tongue darted out to lick at his lips, as if they were dry, and he took another sip of wine before replying in a hoarse voice, "Yes, I would like that, Severus."

Severus began to dance, slowly peeling off the first layer of silk, an outer robe of red embroidered with gilt thread--Gryffindor colors, in Lupin's honor. He had been nervous about dancing earlier, but found himself moving with surprising ease and grace under Lupin's intense, hungry stare. It was flattering and inspiring to have someone gaze at him with such desire, even if it was magically induced. He danced much more smoothly than he ever had during his mother's lessons, his hips rotating to cause the bells to chime and weave their magic, his arms moving sinuously, his fingers extending and curling in a beckoning gesture.

Lupin reached out for him, and Severus laughed and teasingly danced out of his reach. "Not just yet, my eager wolf," he purred in a low voice that caused Lupin to lick his lips again. "You'll have to be patient before you can claim your reward."

"Severus..." Lupin groaned hoarsely.

"Your throat sounds parched, Lupin," Severus murmured, dancing closer again. "Why not soothe it with some honey?" He reached into one of the dishes of sweets and pulled out a date dripping with clear, golden honey. He held it out to Lupin's lips, and the werewolf ate it, his tongue darting out to lick the traces of honey from Severus's fingers. Severus reached for another date, this one stuffed and sugared, and he had to bite back a moan when Lupin took his fingers into his mouth and sucked at them greedily.

"I just want to eat you up," the werewolf growled, his hands reaching out to clutch at Severus's waist.

The dance and the spell were not yet complete, so as much as Severus would have liked to join Lupin in the pile of cushions on the floor, he gracefully spun away, leaving the second layer of silk--this one midnight-blue--in Lupin's hands.

Lupin growled and looked as if he were about to rise and chase after Severus; the bells of seduction were perhaps working a little too well. He quickly reached into the pocket of the third robe (dyed in a deep orange hue, the color of flames) and pulled out the bell of command. He shook it once, and Lupin froze in place as its deep chime rang out.

"Be patient, Lupin," Severus said soothingly. "I promise that you shall have me when the dance is over."

"Very well," Lupin said, sinking back down onto the pillows obediently, and Severus continued the dance. By the time he divested himself of the fourth and fifth layers of silk (bright yellow like sunshine, and sequin-spangled black, like a star-filled night sky), Lupin was panting and tugging at the collar of his robe, beads of sweat forming on his flushed face.

"It's so hot in here," he groaned.

"Then why don't you make yourself more comfortable?" Severus suggested flirtatiously, and helped Lupin out of his robe. The werewolf also shed his shirt, shoes, and socks, and rolled the cuffs of his trousers up to his knees. "Better," Lupin sighed, as Severus lifted the glass of wine to his lips and let the cool liquid run down his throat.

"Much better," Severus purred, staring at Lupin appreciatively, admiring his lean, wiry build, which was slim, but had a good deal more muscle on it than Severus's own bony frame. The werewolf's skin seemed to glow in the candlelight; it was crisscrossed with scars from the times that he had mutilated himself during the full moon, but Severus still thought he was beautiful, although he knew that Lupin was a bit self-conscious about the scars. To Severus, they were a sign of strength, proving that Lupin had not let himself be beaten or broken by the childhood attack that had transformed him, no matter how much pain he had to endure. Severus longed to kiss and caress each scar, and reassure Lupin that he would never let anyone hurt him that way again. He would brew the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin each month, so that he would not have to harm himself during the full moon, and he was already working on some alterations to the potion that should make the transformation easier and less painful.

"I will take much better care of you than Tonks ever could," Severus whispered.

Lupin gave him a startled look, and Severus quickly resumed the dance, shaking his hips so that the seductive magic of the bells would cloud Lupin's thoughts. He could not afford to make any mistakes, not until the spell was complete and Lupin was truly his.

The sixth robe was a pale silvery-gray, like moonlight filtered through clouds, as thin and light as if it had been spun from cobwebs. Severus reached out with one hand, allowing the edge of the billowing sleeve to trail along the bare skin of Lupin's chest, and the werewolf sighed and smiled.

"This is how the moonlight will be for you," Severus whispered, in Arabic this time, so that Lupin would not understand. "Comforting and welcoming; you will no longer need to fear it once we are together. I will love you as both man and wolf."

He twirled around, casting aside the gray robe to reveal the seventh and final robe, which was made of green silk with silver embroidery; he had not been able to resist saving the Slytherin colors for last. As Severus danced, shimmying his hips with more speed and intensity now, the bells jingling in counterpoint, Lupin moaned and fumbled with the fly of his trousers, pulling it open to free his rapidly hardening cock. His eyes never left Severus as his fingers closed around himself and moved up and down the shaft, slowly at first, but with growing urgency as Severus's dance grew more frenzied.

Severus couldn't hold back a moan of his own as he spun and twirled and gyrated; it was incredibly erotic to have Lupin looking at him that way, to watch him pleasure himself, knowing that Lupin was fantasizing about him as he did so.

Severus rung the bell of command once more, and it chimed in unison with the bells of seduction. "Look only at me," he told Lupin. "Think only of me." He reached into the pocket of his robe and took out the bell of binding. He held it over his head and shook it, and it rang out with a sweet, clear tone that reverberated until it filled the entire room and resonated within his body. From the way that Lupin gasped, he must have felt it, too.

"Desire only me," Severus whispered, feeling the magic reach deep within him to take hold of his soul. "Love only me."

Severus removed the last robe, leaving him clad only in the belt of gold chain and bells, and a loincloth made of the same green silk as the robe, which did little to satisfy the bounds of modesty. His own erection was already tenting and straining against the thin fabric.

"Please, Severus," Lupin groaned. "I can't wait any longer!"

"I am yours, Lu...Remus," Severus whispered huskily, dancing his way over to Lupin's side. He swung one leg over the werewolf's hips so that he was straddling him, then slowly lowered himself down onto Lupin's lap.

Lupin snarled and tore off the remaining scrap of silk from Severus's body, leaving him naked except for the bells. "God, Severus, you look so hot," he growled, his eyes gleaming with lust, and he licked his lips. "I have never seen anything so sexy in all my life."

Severus felt a brief pang in his heart, wishing that he could have heard those words spoken sincerely, without having them compelled by magic. But that was the price of the bells, and he was willing to pay it. It was better to have Lupin this way than to not have him at all.

So he kissed Lupin deeply, winding one arm around his waist and the other around his neck, and he rocked forward into Lupin, grinding their erections together. Lupin growled and wrapped his arms around Severus, pulling their bodies even closer together.

The bells chimed and jangled as they rocked together, and Severus let the bell of command fall from his fingers; he no longer needed it now that the spell was almost complete. He continued to ring out the bell of binding, feeling the strands of his soul slowly entwining with Lupin's, and he snaked his free hand between their torsos and wrapped it around both their cocks. He felt Lupin's hand join his, and the sensation of their fingers moving together excited him further, and it took only a few rough strokes before he came, throwing back his head as he called out Lupin's name.

"Severus!" Lupin growled, then sank his teeth into the juncture where Severus's neck met his shoulder, then came with a muffled grunt.

They sat there for a few moments, panting and gasping for breath. Severus felt something warm trickling down his shoulder and reached up to touch it; his fingers came away stained red. Lupin had bitten him hard enough to draw blood, but Severus didn't mind, since it was part of the final component of the spell: in order to complete the binding, he needed to combine together blood and semen from both of them.

He rubbed his bloody fingers across Lupin's chest and belly, which were already covered with their mingled bodily fluids. All he needed to do now was to open a small cut on Lupin. His gaze fell on the wineglass, which lay on its side on the floor, a puddle of spilled wine beside it; they must have knocked it over during their lovemaking.

Severus reached for it, but Lupin grabbed it first, raising it and then smashing it down hard on the floor. He held onto the stem of the glass, which still had a bit of the base attached to it, and ran the jagged edge down his sternum, opening a thin cut that oozed blood into the smeared mixture of semen and blood on his chest.

"L-Lupin...I...I..." Severus stammered, staring at the werewolf in a state of complete and utter shock.

"Finish it," Lupin whispered.

Severus raised the bell of binding with a trembling hand and rang it as he intoned in a shaky voice, "I bind you to me, and me to you, in body and soul. Never shall you crave another's touch, nor shall I ever desire anyone other than you. Our hearts shall beat as one, and when one stops, so shall the other. I am yours and you are mine until death claims us both." He rang the bell one last time, and he and Lupin both gasped as the magic took effect. He could feel something inside his chest, unseen and yet almost tangible, reaching out and anchoring itself in Lupin's heart, like a cord stretched taut between them. He could hear his own heartbeat and Lupin's thudding in his ears, slowly falling into sync until they beat in perfect unison.

"Severus," Lupin breathed, reaching up with one hand to touch Severus's face. Instead of looking horrified, his eyes were filled with joy and awe, and there was a look of almost smug satisfaction on his face.

"How did you know?" Severus whispered.

"I am an expert in Defense Against the Dark Arts, after all, Severus," Lupin said with a smile. "I only caught a glimpse of those bells, but I could sense the taint of Dark Magic on them. And since they belonged to your mother, and you very helpfully told me that she was related to Ali Bashir, I guessed that they were probably Arabic artifacts. The books in Hogwarts didn't tell me what the bells were, but I found hints directing me to other books that might. It took some time to track them down, and it cost a pretty penny to have Flourish and Blotts import them. But I found a reference in them to magical bells that could be used to seduce or command a person, much like an Imperius Curse, and even, in the case of the most powerful items, to bind a man's soul. But to be honest, I didn't know that you were actually planning to use them until tonight."

"But tonight, once I started dancing, you must have realized what I was planning to do," Severus said, his mind still spinning in confusion. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"Because I didn't want to," Lupin replied simply. "Because I love you."

Severus felt a surge of incredulous joy rising up within in him that he quickly pushed down. "You're only saying that because of the spell I cast on you," he said, wondering why those words tasted so bitter in his mouth. Hadn't he decided that he would be happy as long as Lupin was his, no matter by what methods?

"No, Severus," Lupin said gently. "I knew what you were doing as soon as I saw those bells in your hair. The first enchantment was a minor one; I could have overcome it if I wanted to. I was infatuated with you when we were teenagers, although Sirius's stupid prank tore us apart. But I truly began to fall in love with you once we started working together in the Order, when I saw how brave you were and how much you were sacrificing for the cause. That's why I was so devastated when I thought you had betrayed us. I was in such despair that I didn't have the strength to argue with Tonks and Molly. If I couldn't have you, then I figured it didn't matter whom I was with."

"But if you loved me, then why didn't you break it off with Tonks once you found out that I wasn't a traitor?" Severus demanded. "We were sleeping together, but you still went home to her every night, leaving me to be grateful for the crumbs that you tossed me! You even agreed to marry her! That's why I did this! It was bad enough sharing you, but I couldn't let her take you away from me completely!"

"I thought you weren't interested in a serious relationship," Lupin said softly, and Severus's anger ebbed slightly at the sight of the pain in Lupin's eyes. "You said you wanted a practical arrangement, with no commitments to tie you down."

"Because you said you were still with Tonks!" Severus protested. "I have my pride, you know. I wasn't about to grovel and beg you to leave her just to have you laugh in my face, or worse, smile at me with a look of apologetic pity, like you used to when your friends would hex me back in school!"

Lupin winced. "I'm sorry, Severus. I was in a relationship with Tonks, and then you and I...it all happened so quickly. I didn't know what to do. I wanted you, but I didn't want to hurt her, and I was so confused. I thought I had to be honest and tell you that I was involved with someone else."

"I already knew that, Lupin," Severus said dryly. "Gossip travels quickly in the wizarding world. Particularly when the two of you were holding hands very publicly at Dumbledore's funeral."

"Oh," Lupin said sheepishly. "Of course; you are an expert at gathering information, after all. Anyway, I just thought that it wouldn't be right to get involved with you until I broke things off with Tonks."

"You...you were going to break things off with Tonks?" Severus asked hesitantly.

"If I had a chance to be with you," Lupin replied. "But I took your words about not wanting a commitment at face value, and I thought I would scare you away if I let you know that I wanted something more serious. I thought it would be better to have you on those terms, as a casual affair, than to not have you at all."

"That's what I thought, too," Severus whispered.

"But I was also being a coward," Lupin admitted. "I was afraid of how Harry and Molly and the others would react if I broke up with Tonks. I would have been willing to risk their anger if I knew that you returned my feelings, but I was afraid that you would leave me, and if I lost their friendship as well, I would be left with nothing." He flushed. "That's the same mistake I made when I stood by and let James and Sirius bully you in school. I should have learned my lesson from those incidents, but I didn't."

"If you loved me, then why were you going to marry Tonks and end our arrangement?" Severus wanted to know. "Why were you willing to give me up forever?"

Lupin smiled at him sadly. "Because I decided I was wrong; being with you for a couple of quick assignations every week was worse than not having you at all. It was tearing my heart into shreds, knowing that I would never have anything more than your body, knowing that you would never love me in return--or at least, that was what I thought at the time. I still held out hope till the very last minute, though. I was secretly hoping that you would ask me not to marry Tonks. But then you smiled and wished me well, like you didn't even care."

"Stupid Gryffindor!" Severus exclaimed in exasperation. "Did you expect me to read your mind?!"

"Well, you are a Legilimens, after all," Lupin pointed out logically.

Severus opened his mouth to continue his tirade, but then the full impact of Lupin's words sunk in, and he just sat there gaping foolishly, his mouth hanging open. Why hadn't he ever tried to peer into Lupin's thoughts? Maybe he had been afraid of what he would find there. Maybe he hadn't wanted to confirm what he had thought was true, that Lupin didn't love him. He didn't know whether to scream or cry over how stupid they'd both been, but instead he found himself laughing.

"R-right," he stammered between fits of hysterical laughter, while Lupin stared at him as if he was worried that Severus was losing his mind. "Perfectly logical. I should have read your mind."

And then Lupin was laughing too, and they fell into each other's arms, clinging to each other and laughing till their sides hurt and tears streamed down their cheeks. When their laughter finally died away, an exhausted Severus leaned forward to rest his tear-stained face against Lupin's shoulder, savoring the comforting warmth of Lupin's skin.

"We were both fools," Lupin murmured, pressing his lips against Severus's hair and tenderly enfolding Severus in his arms. "But it's not too late, thank Merlin. I will call off the engagement. It will cause an uproar, but I will deal with it. I never should have let it get that far to begin with, whether I was involved with you or not. I liked Tonks, but I never loved her, and she deserves to be married to someone who loves her as much as she loves him, although she might not agree with me right now."

Severus didn't really give a damn what Tonks deserved, but since Lupin was his now, he decided not to argue the point. "You ought to hate me, you know," he said, raising his head to stare at Lupin's smiling face, still finding it difficult to believe that the love he saw in Lupin's eyes was really meant for him. "I used Dark Magic on you. That means if I die, you will, too. That's what happened to my mother, you know. She used the binding spell on my father, because she was afraid that he would leave her if he found out she was a witch. When my father developed cancer, she sickened and died along with him."

"I remember that both your parents died suddenly during our seventh year," Lupin said sympathetically. "But I am not afraid, Severus; if anything, you're the one who should be worried. As a werewolf, I'm much more likely to die an untimely death than you."

"You're much less likely to be hexed by someone still holding a grudge against me," Severus pointed out dryly, and Lupin laughed, and Severus had to smile, to see Lupin looking so relaxed and happy in his presence. "Besides, the effects of the transformation are much less debilitating with the Wolfsbane Potion, and I've been working on some added improvements that should make the transformation much less painful. It still tastes awful, though."

Lupin beamed at him. "Thank you, Severus, that's wonderful! The less painful part, of course, not the taste, but an awful-tasting potion is a small price to pay for keeping my sanity during the full moon."

"You really don't mind that I used the binding spell on you?" Severus asked anxiously. "It's permanent and irrevocable. You could have stopped me before I was done and told me that you were choosing me instead of Tonks."

Lupin bit his lip and glanced down for a moment, then raised his head and met Severus's gaze and held it steadily. "The truth is, I wanted to be bound to you as much as you wanted to be bound to me, for much the same reasons," he said quietly. "Yes, I could have told you that I wasn't going to marry Tonks, and we could have lived together without the binding spell. But...I was afraid. Afraid that you would always wonder if I truly loved you, or if I would betray you someday for the sake of my friends, as I did in the past. I was afraid that you might leave me one day because you doubted my love, or because of some quarrel we might have. I knew that the binding spell worked both ways. I wanted to prove to you how much I love you, and I wanted you bound to me so that you would never be able to leave me."

"Remus," Severus whispered, tears blurring his eyes.

"I do believe that's the first time that you've actually called me by my first name," Lupin said, smiling. "I rather like it."

"Then I'll be sure to use it more often...Remus," Severus said. The tears did spill from his eyes then, but Lupin--no, Remus--reached up to brush them away with his fingertips, and gently kissed away the remaining traces, his tongue darting out to lap up the salty fluid from Severus's skin, and Severus trembled as a breathy sigh escaped his lips.

"So now do you believe that I truly love you, Severus?" Remus murmured.

"Yes, Remus," Severus replied. "And I...love you, too." It was difficult to get the words out of his mouth; he had never said them to anyone before except his mother, and not since he had been a very small child. But it was worth the effort to see Remus's face light up with happiness.

"I won't be a coward anymore, Severus," Remus promised. "I'll tell everyone the truth: that I'm breaking up with Tonks because I like her as a friend but I'm not in love with her, and I can't love her because I'm gay and I'm in love with you."

"Potter and the others will probably accuse me of bewitching you," Severus told him, but he couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face. "And for once, they would actually be right."

"I purposefully let you bewitch me, so I don't think that really counts," Remus said, then smiled sheepishly, briefly alarming Severus--that sheepish look usually boded ill for him. "And you see, Severus, I have something to confess as well." Remus reached into the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a small vial. "I was planning to slip this into your wine tonight until I realized that you were already planning to bind me with the bells."

Severus took the vial, opened it, and cautiously sniffed at it. "Amortentia?" he asked incredulously. "You were going to dose me with a love potion?" he demanded indignantly.

"Well, you were planning to bewitch me," Remus reminded him calmly.

"Lupin--Remus, you idiot!" Severus said, snorting with laughter. "I'm an expert Potions Master and a former spy! I've been ingesting antidotes to all known mind-altering potions for years! I'm immune to Amortentia, you bloody fool!"

"Oh," Remus said sheepishly. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that the bells worked, then."

Severus laughed and shook his head. "I guess I shouldn't have expected you to know any better. You were always terrible at Potions."

"I have another confession to make," Remus said with a sly grin. "The reason that I was so bad at Potions was because I spent all my time staring at you instead of listening to Slughorn's instructions. I would watch you chop ingredients and stir the cauldron, and I could see how long and elegant and graceful your fingers were, and I used to fantasize about them touching me instead. Is it any wonder that I couldn't keep my mind on the lessons? So really, Severus, it's all your fault that I nearly failed Potions!"

They both burst into laughter, and then Severus said, "In all seriousness, though, the Ministry could bring me up on charges of using Dark Magic if your friends figure out what happened. Tonks won't be happy about being left at the altar, and she is an Auror and a friend of the new Minister of Magic."

Remus smirked. "I don't think that Kingsley will be that eager to convict you. He's always had a thing for Tonks, you know. He'll probably be glad for the chance to step in and console her broken heart. But just to be on the safe side, we could run off to Egypt, if your uncle's house is still available."

"You'd do that?" Severus asked. "You'd leave your friends, leave England behind to be with me?"

Remus nodded, without any apparent hesitation or regret. "I'll miss them, but you're the most important person in my life, Severus. I will never lose sight of that again. After things calm down and they realize that I'm with you of my own free will, we can move back if you like, or just go home for a visit if you prefer to remain permanently in Egypt. And if they can't accept you as my lover...well, then maybe they aren't really my friends."

"By Merlin, you've finally grown a spine, Remus!" Severus exclaimed without thinking, staring at his lover with admiration in his eyes. He belatedly realized that his comment could be taken as an insult, but Remus just grinned at him.

"And you've revealed hidden talents, Severus," the werewolf said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I want you to promise that you'll dance for me again--without the magic, though, since I'm already yours, heart and soul. Maybe we can get a set of non-magical bells made for you."

"But I was only dancing as part of the spell," Severus protested. "Without the magic to influence you, I'd look ridiculous!"

"I assure you, you did not look ridiculous at all, Severus," Remus growled, letting his eyes slowly rake over Severus's body with such a hungry and wanton look that Severus felt every inch of his skin flushing. "It was all I could do not to tear those silk robes off your body, and the way you moved your hips..." Remus growled again and licked his lips. "And I can't tell you how sexy you look right now, clad in nothing but that string of bells."

Severus could feel Remus growing hard against him--tangible and irrefutable proof that he was telling the truth. "Then I will dance again," he whispered, rocking his hips forward against Remus's as the bells jingled softly. "But only for you."

"Damn right," Remus growled. "I'm not sharing you with anyone!"

Severus laughed, and they made love a second time, this time joyfully and without reservation or any hidden agendas. And the bells around his waist chimed sweetly in time with their movements, but the touch of magic on his skin and Remus's was light, caressing instead of commanding, enhancing their pleasure instead of compelling it.

Years later, in their home in Egypt, Remus would swear that he always heard music when they made love, even when Severus wasn't wearing the bells.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the story based on karasu_hime's artwork of Snape dressed up in bells and a skimpy belly dancer type outfit, dancing for Lupin, as described in the story. (The layers of outer robes were my own addition.) Unfortunately, the link to that lovely piece of art no longer works, but that was the inspiration behind the story. 
> 
> See the afterword in the final chapter of my [IJ entry](http://geri-chan.insanejournal.com/3253.html) for meta ramblings about the writing process and characters.


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